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3 Bumps

What happened to mommy's little buddy?

Ladies, I could use some advice. My son has always been my "little buddy". We have stuck together while daddy was deployed and once he got out of the Army, his work schedule has been crazy (84 hours one week, off the next), so we would do things together while daddy was at work. He was my little adventurer. We would go hiking, camping, geocaching, and caving together. Don't get me wrong, I was still his mother and disciplined him when needed. A few months ago, I started giving him more space to be independent. He plays outside with his friends and I am starting to take a step back. However, now I don't even recognize my own son anymore. If I ask him if he wants to go hiking with me, he says no. He is starting to get a smart mouth on him and that has gotten him into trouble quite a bit here lately. Today, I took him to his friend's birthday party that was an hour away. We got into some traffic because there were two wrecks on the interstate and he smarted off about how the party was probably already started and it was my fault. He was grounded for that comment. I just don't know what to do anymore. My sweet little boy is now an 8 year old smart mouth who is consistently smarting off no matter what punishment we give him. 

I want this back-

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JeremysMom

Asked by JeremysMom at 9:03 PM on May. 4, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 35 (75,128 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • sounds completely normal for his age. He's testing the boundaries. Make them strong boundaries, tell him what they are (write them down for house rules if you need to) and stick to them, including what the consequences are for breaking them. Good luck and hugs to you. It's tough. But it does get better. After a while.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 9:12 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • He's learning independence. Such a hard time for moms. :(
    My boys were the same, continue to discipline when he acts up, talk with him during your down time about how you understands he's growing up but he needs to show you respect and you'll respect him in return.
    He'll come back to you. Right now, he actually needs you more than ever. He's just not going to say it, lol
    I raised 2 boys, now 26 & 22 and they're definitely mama's boys, lol
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:15 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • He's testing boundaries and asserting independence. Let him do it while making sure he knows what the boundaries are and disciplining him accordingly, if he goes beyond them.

    I wish I could tell you it gets better, but my oldest is 12 and there are days I find myself wishing I'd never taught him how to talk. lol
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 9:17 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • It gets better, you'll see. :)
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:18 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • Pick your battles!! He's growing up and away... normal. But if you are going to ground him for that you are really going to have to think up some VERY harsh punishments for whats to come. Good luck !!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:54 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • But, I should add... I worked 8 summers in a boys residential summer camp with 130 8-15 year olds... I'd take boys at this age over girls ANY DAY!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:56 PM on May. 4, 2013

  • Sorry but you aren't getting him back, he is now has his own interests and likes and most of them do not include you, it is the law of maturing and growing, do not take it as an insult but as the way things are...you can still have a bond but on different terms....
    older

    Answer by older at 6:19 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • Crafty26 I agree I have a 16 yr old daughter!! 8 is a little to young for me to start giving independence...My son is 12 and I am just now beginning to give him a little independence My daughter who like I said is 16 and she doesnt have independence like other girls do in this day an age. Parents really try to let go of their kids way too soon. The smart mouth thing is part of the territory when yr a mom. I make mine sit down and write this sentence 50 times....".I will respect my parents and other adults at all times and will not be smart mouthed when asked a question,if I am feeling mad or angry I will respectfully come to my parents and talk it out but being disrespectful is not an option or a choice." YOu have to set boundaries and rules yr a mom and you should know this. He is pushing yr buttons. And if you let him see you sweat he will get better and better at it!
    Fairymom32

    Answer by Fairymom32 at 7:21 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • My daughter is already starting the smart mouth thing at five. I'm in the thick of it, so I can't tell you that my approach definitely works, but I'm standing by it for now. First, if she asks for something in a snippy way or asks for something right after she has gotten smart with me, se doesn't get what she wants. I don't lecture, I just ask her why the answer is no, and she can tell me nine times out of ten. When she smarts off, I ask her to rephrase what she has said. "We're late for the party and its your fault" might really mean "I wish we weren't stuck in traffic. I'm mad. I want to be at the party already" once she thinks about it. Then too, I try to catch her in the act of being exceptionally polite and respectful, and praise her for that. Time will tell--good luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 7:40 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • "8 is a little to young for me to start giving independence...."

    Whoa... I did not say that! Yes 8 is a good age for them to start being independent!!! Way too many parents clinging on too long... kids can't function without someone telling them what to do and how to do it... because parents don't back off and let kids be kids!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:58 PM on May. 5, 2013

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