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4 Bumps

Step daughter and her mom

My Step daughter who I have raised since she was 3 is now getting married she doesn't have a relationship with her mother really. She talks to her here and there but doesn't have a relationship with her, my step daughter hasn't included her in on anything dress shopping or mother of the bride duties I am in that role. So bm is mad but she wasn't involved in her child's life I don't see bmom's point at all she is the one who chose not to have a relationship what ya'll think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on May. 5, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (14)
  • There is no reason birth mom should feel left out when all through her life she was not there, tell her you reap what you sow!

    Answer by older at 4:57 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • This Is up to your stepdaughter.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:00 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • I do not think you should really worry about it. That is your SD decision.  Just leave it that way.


    Answer by louise2 at 5:03 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • She's just jealous. She really doesn't have any right to be there in that role, and it's not like you're the one making the decision for things to be like they are. The bride is calling the shots on her wedding and that's how it should be.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 5:10 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • I agree. The bmom has no right to be mad. I agree with reap what you sow

    Answer by tempsingl3mom at 5:17 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • She has the right to be mad - anyone has the right to feel however they want. But just because she has the right to be mad doesn't mean she's right to be mad. She can get as mad as she wants, but she is now seeing the results of the way she chose to treat her daughter. You, on the other hand, stepped up and did what she didn't do, and now your stepdaughter is rewarding you for being the one that was there for her. Enjoy it and ignore her.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:28 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • As long as your stepdaughter is the one choosing not to include her bio mom, and you aren't pressuring her to leave her mother out, either consciously or unconsciously, then the situation is fine. If your stepdaughter wants to include her mother in some way, encourage her to do it. But this day belongs to your stepdaughter, and the feelings of her bio mom shouldn't enter into the wedding decisions at all. If the bio mom wanted to be part of her daughter's life, she should have done it a long time ago.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:53 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • Hmmmm

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 6:12 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • seems step daughter has made her choices
    the BM made her choices
    now time for you to make a choice to keep living your life the way you have been

    you are showing empathy for the BM, nice, but unnecessary, and not productive

    Answer by fiatpax at 6:40 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • I agree with the others..It is yr step daughters decision!!!! You are her mom now. Just cause you can make a baby doesnt make you a parent. You are awesome for stepping up and being her mom the way you have. I cant stand lazy parents who dont want the hard work of raising a child but when the child grows up they want to be in their life. I am all about forgiving but just cause you forgive does not mean you have to have a relationship with that person!!

    Answer by Fairymom32 at 6:50 PM on May. 5, 2013

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