Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How to convey to my husbands family no more dinero

My husband is Hispanic, and I'm American. His mother, sister, aunts and cousins are repeatedly asking  him for money. It is annoying. I have tried to be patient. I was unaware before we were married he would  give them half of his check. Now we are married with a four year old, I had to stop the charity. They hate me now. He was really upset with me until I explained to him that we can not afford to pay for our family expenses and theirs. I feel like he is torn between me and his family in the United States and back home.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 PM on May. 5, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (19)
  • He may be the main support for his family. Unless they have gotten use to living a lavish lifestyle most families will understand when the amount sent home has to be little bit less.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 11:50 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • Is there a compromise between stopping the money altogether and sending half of your husband's check?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:55 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • This is something you agreed to before you were married. I can understand how he's torn between the two.
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 11:58 PM on May. 5, 2013

  • You knew going into this that he would be doing this. If you had an issue with it you should have dealt with it then. No wonder they are pissed at you.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 12:02 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • I agree with PMSMom10. You agreed to this when you married him. It should have been discussed again before having kids.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 12:03 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • No, I did not agree. I was unaware of this situation. The issue needed to be addressed when I found a Western Union for the amount of 700.00. Not to mention he has a sister who is a nurse like myself and a brother who also has a great job. This is a enormous amount of money. I understand he love his family, but this is ridiculous. He has a family now and they need to understand that. It is not personal.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:18 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • You said in your post that he explained to you that half of his paycheck would go to his family and you agreed!

    Which is it?
    PMSMom10

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 12:22 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • Yes, explained it but with no clarity. I was unaware, the explanation came after I found several Western Union receipts while we were moving into our home. This amount was shocking.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:26 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • If he is the eldest it may be his responsibility to take care of the family,especially his Mother, even if the sister and brother are financially taken care of. And if not to tell his Mother he can no longer send the money, even reduce the amount will make her worry or have him feel that he has let his family down.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:29 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • No he is not the oldest. His mother we have compromised and send money on occasions. Everyone else are on their own. He is a person who can not say no. The cousins have lavish lifestyles here in the United States. They have stopped before with out my knowledge and he provided them money for a 500.00 dog, and IPhone payments. This is not a need this is greed.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:34 AM on May. 6, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN