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2 Bumps

My ex refused to give me my children back yesterday, where do I stand as police were called said they could not do any thing to help me as his name is on the birth certificates. We have not been through any court for custody etc. we had an verbal agreement that he had them for the weekend and I would pick them up on Sunday.

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Asked by Mandy31568 at 4:39 AM on May. 6, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 2 (4 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • I hate to tell you this but you haven't a leg to stand on. A verbal agreement has no worth in a court of law. You need to get a custody order drawn up and have the situation made legally binding. Until you do your husband can pretty well do as he pleases (as can you, of course). The police can only help you if your husband refuses to comply with court-ordered custody.

    I am really sorry you're facing this.

    Answer by winterglow at 5:21 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • From experience, police won't even get involved when there is a court order in place. They told me to take him to court for contempt, which takes months!
    I am so sorry. The courts won't look kindly on him not allowing you to see the kids, but if he keeps them until you go to court the judge will also consider his as their current, stable home.
    You need to get into court ASAP. I don't know if the courts will allow an emergency custody hearing for this or not, but it's worth asking!

    Answer by missanc at 5:55 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • hoping that your ex is an ex boyfriend and NOT an ex husband
    if just ex boyfriend, in 48 of 50 states, you have all the rights until an ex boyfriend files for his rights in court. does not matter if his name is on bc. (not sure of the two were this is not the case, i think Hawaii and another)

    if he is your ex husband, and nothing in court, both of you have the same rights, and you need to call your lawyer as soon as his/her office opens this morning.

    missanc, has good points, court will not be pleased with his actions= document everything, excellent that you called police- keep that record, and journal everything. him taking the kids out of their stable home is not good for the kids- will need to show this in court. is he in same school district? do kids have their daily things? how long has this verbal agreement been going on?

    sorry you are going through this
    call a good lawyer this am

    hang in there

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:00 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • With no court order, there's nothing the police can do - the only thing they could have done was enforce a court order. The only thing you can do right now is hurry up and get a lawyer and get this into court ASAP so you can try to get/retain custody before he's had them for too long.

    Good luck!

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:07 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • With no court order there isn't a damn thing you can do about it if his name is listed as the father. This is why I always recommend to friends to get a court order no matter how agreeable or amicable the split is. Good luck. i would be getting a hold of a lawyer as soon as they offices open this morning, but since he has them and you willingly gave them to him it is going to be even more difficult to get them back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • Get a lawyer, as missanc said, the police won't get involved even when there is a court order. He is their father. You need a good lawyer, and you need to get into court as quickly as possible. Good luck mama.


    Answer by ohwrite at 8:57 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • Call your attorney first thing this morning. Get working on temporary custody arrangements. Does he work, or is he at home all day and able to care for them? If he works, where is he taking them while he is working?

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:26 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • how could you get a divorce and NOT have something in writing about the children?

    IF you two were never married and he is an ex boyfriend (and father of your kids) have 100% of the rights, until he files in court
    (except for two of 50 states), does not matter if he is on bc, and raised them until yesterday
    IF never married, you have a HUGE upper hand

    IF ex husband, then much harder, but still not understanding how a court would grant a divorce and not anything about who has custody, child support, who carries insurance, etc

    keep us updated, and call that lawyer!

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:40 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • I agree with previous posters. If y'all are married and have just split but have nothing in writing the cops won't do anything because you both have equal rights to the children. If you were never married and have no custody order then he has no writes to the children until granted rights in court. Call a lawyer ASAP! If the latter scenario is the case you might could file kidnapping charges, not sure, but worth asking an attorney about it.

    Answer by HHx5 at 11:07 AM on May. 6, 2013

    Otherwise you have ZERO rights.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:53 AM on May. 6, 2013

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