Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

If anyone cares to analyze my mess. You'd be helping a mom out, big time!

I met this man. In about his mid 20's. I'm around the same age. He came at me, wanted to take me out and was persistent. I didn't let him at first, then I agreed to one date. The date wasn't as horrific as I imagined. We both enjoyed our conversation and he asked me for another date. We were in pubic, we also did other things like swimming, bike riding, and even went to the bar. His friends got to know me a bit and caught on that we were sort of something. We never exactly defined the relationship, but he things just spontaneously fell together. He'd call me every couple of hours, we'd text, and we saw each other at least every other day for 2 weeks. In his past, he's obviously had sex. We didn't, due to the fact that it was way too early, I honestly wanted to be something serious before I fool around! Anyways, his ex girlfriend slowly found out. She went ballistic on him. His sister had died a few years ago and she apparently was always there for him. Now she was the one who needed help, and he felt the need to be there for her. Was I understanding about this? Yes, a shoulder to lean on was fine. But that wasn't just what she wanted. She didn't want him to speak to me anymore and her problems began to include me. I simply told him I understand she needs you and you want to be there but I don't understand the reason she threatens him about being with me. Trying to pick up a bunch of dirt to my name and feeding him false information was the point when I snapped. I simply said as long as she's in your life, I don't think it's best if I am because I don't have the time to deal with this. I simply said we were friends, I enjoyed your company, and I can't continue this sort of relationship with a crazy ex! He explained how he was on his way to her house to calm her down and explain that I'm a great young woman but I told him to save it! A week later, I cooled down and called. He answered. And told me he was trying to work things back out with her. A punch to my face? Yeah, you could say so! I simply said goodbye and never contacted him again. Less than a month later, I was at the bar for my best friends birthday. Surely there he was. With her? No. She wasn't in sight. He was flirting and talking to a couple other females though. Did he see me? Yeah. Did we talk? No.
I'm confused. What happened? What should I do? Is there anything I could say? I don't see the reason he kicked me out of his life if doesn't have anyone? I don't think he is cheating on his old girlfriend because he knows she would find out, being the crazy person that she is? What do you think his feelings were when he saw me?
I know any of you don't have the exact answers, but if someone could please analyze, maybe I could get over this crazy phase. I'm hurt. We were very open with each other and I could tell by the passionate kisses and all the time we spend together doing aimless things, we had fun.

HELP! Please and thanks!

 

Ps. He always went out of his way to pay for me. Was always respectful of my needs. And even opened up to a bunch of secrets. How do you just kick someone like that out of your life? Weird how he can talk to a bunch of new girls but not me after I know he was staring me down like a hawk?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:55 AM on May. 6, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • You kicked HIM out of your life. And rightfully so.
    NEXT!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:58 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • What happened?
    -You met a man who was probably just trying to get you in the sack. Or he was still with the ex and is a cheater.

    What should I do?
    -Cut your losses and move on.

    Is there anything I could say?
    -No.

    What do you think his feelings were when he saw me?
    -"Oh fuck. Oh well"

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:59 AM on May. 6, 2013

  • Be thankful you did not go any further than being friends.I think this man likes to "play"
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:01 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • He has too many issues.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:03 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • whoa i cant believe he didnt at least talk to you! makes me wonder if he wasn't seeing both of u the whole time and thats why she had a problem with it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • Trying to analyze his behavior will drive you crazy, because we can never know exactly why people do the things that they do. He could have been cheating on his "ex" by being with you. He could have been playing you both. He could have been broken up with her, but still tied to her emotionally. He could have been overwhelmed by the feelings that sparked with you, and got scared off. He could have been too embarrassed by his conduct to face you again. the list is really endless. But my advice is to walk away. Whatever the reasons for his behavior, they are too complicated to take on because bottom line, they all involve some type of dishonestly. Either with himself, or with you, and who needs that???
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 12:23 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • My short analysis--dust yourself off and move on.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:24 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • He's out of your life be happy for it. Maybe he likes playing the field and since you wouldn't have sex with him he used her as an excuse to get out of your so called relationship so he can find a girl to sleep with.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:45 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • He didn't kick you out of his life. YOU kicked HIM out of yours. That's what that whole "I can't be in your life if she is" speech was about.

    As far as his behavior - who cares why he did what he did or didn't do what he didn't do? You'd already learned that a relationship with him wasn't going to work, so what's the point in analyzing how he behaved when he saw you after the fact?

    Let it go and move on - and be grateful you decided to take it slow and not sleep with him.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:57 PM on May. 6, 2013

  • I would not try to figure out the whys of his behavior. It will drive you nuts, and you still won't know. I would be very thankful that I had not had anything physical going on with such a jerk, so on that note, I think you were extremely wise to not have done so. I always tell young women to look for a man who will love them for the person they are on the inside and not for how they look or what they can give a man. The next woman who comes along can offer him perhaps better looks and better sex, but nobody can ever offer him you. If only woman could learn this, there would be much less heartbreak! I think you may have figured it out so I say congratulations! Please don't waste any more time or emotion trying to figure out what makes this jerk tick. Just the fact that he is a jerk is all you need to know.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:01 PM on May. 6, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN