Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Would you be ok with this?

my ex ditched my dd this past weekend (lied and said he had a family emergency) to go to vegas to meet someone he met online 2 weeks ago,now he's planning to move this girl in with him.bring this girl from vegas,move her into his apartment and expects me to be ok with letting dd around her.my ex doesnt even know this girl, all he knows is her name and age thats it!

im planning to make an agreement to where this girl cant be in the house when dd is there unless they are married(which i can fully do as soon as my ex actually moves this girl into his apartment)

so would you be ok with that?
(and just to clear this up,i have no problems with my ex dating,i have a huge problem when he moves random strangers into a place my dd will be sleeping though)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on May. 7, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Answers (15)
  • I'm with you on this. No contact whatsoever.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 3:53 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • No I would not be ok with it cause she is a stranger.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 3:53 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • If he has visitation rights I don't think you'll have much say with who's at the apartment unless it is proven they are a danger to your dd. Same as he can't say anything about who lives at your home.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 3:54 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • If you can legally make those arrangements, then go ahead. Its ok for him to put himself in harms way if he chooses, but you have the right to protect your daughter. Id want to at least meet her, and form an impression of her before I allowed her contact with my daughter. But you don't say what kind of dad is he normally? Is he a good dad you can trust to protect your dd if things get weird? And how old is your dd? Is she old enough to go out for short outings with her dad and this new girlfriend, and let you know how things went?

    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 3:54 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • Ia m a little confused by your question but the gist of it is would I be ok with my ex moving in a virtual stranger and having my child there with them. The answer to that is no I wouldn't
    However I am confused how you can make an agreement stating that he can not do it.
    I am assuming you have a custody agreement. I am assuming it spells out when he has visitation or custody.
    Unless there are very clear prohibitions in the custody agreement, your ex can have anyone he likes there when your child is there. He can allow his mother to have her over night (or a friend) during his guaranteed visitation. You have no control over his household or his activities, unless you can prove to a court that it is endangering your child.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 3:58 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • @ Nimue930 he ran from me when i was pregnant and didnt see dd for the first year of her life.....so i wouldnt say he's a good dad but he's not a horrible one....dd is 4 so she can but i dont even trust my ex enough right now to begin to let dd around this strange woman
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:59 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • Agreement usually implies that he will agree with you. I don't see that happening in this case. If he already has an order then it's going to be hard for you to amend that with this stipulation. You can ask the courts, but be prepared to be disappointed. Also, be prepared to place the same restrictions on yourself and any future love interests.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 4:26 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • @ QuinnMae for one thing im married so they cant do that,for 2 i was already told i could make sure dd isnt sleeping in the same house as this strange woman
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:28 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • I wouldn't be okay with a rando stranger being moved int the home where my daughter would be visiting, but I'm no sure you can legally do much about it. Could you approach the dad with your concerns, calmly and in a non-accusing way, and see if a compromise can be made? Maybe you could meet the new woman in a public place, introduce your daughter that way, andsee how both of them react.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 4:33 PM on May. 7, 2013

  • You being married has no bearing on a custody agreement.
    Who told you that you could impose this kind of a restriction on him?
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:10 PM on May. 7, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.