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Homeschooling in a blended family, does that really make me crazy?

So my husband and I decided to homeschool our three children next year. We have lots of reasons and we've done thorough research and consideration. It's already a huge job but on top of the "normal" challenges that come with homeschooling your children my husband and I have a blended family. Our two younger children are my biological children (from a previous marriage) and our oldest child is his biological daughter (from a previous relationship). We have them all full time right now and the "other parents" get them sometimes on weekends. The hitch is that since they wont be in school the "other parents" want to take them more often. Historically this hasn't worked out so well because they don't all always behave like responsible parents and it's definitely going to be complicated trying to employ consistency between the households on school items. Our daughters' therapist has made strong advisement that we refuse to change the visitation schedule until we are all comfortable knowing that the kids have all made a full and healthy transition into homeschooling, but my (step) daughter's biological mother has expressed interest in being involved in teaching her some of the material. Whereas that's a request that I can't exactly refuse I do have some concerns about her actually keeping up her end of the deal.

At any rate, what do you think of homeschooling in a blended family? Crazy or brave? lol.

Personally I'm convicted beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's what's best for my babies so I absolutely will be homeschooling next year, I just thought I'd get some of your thoughts :-)

Answer Question

Asked by ashleyaction at 12:24 PM on May. 8, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,543 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Of course I think that public schools can also mess up, my daughter is a high school teacher at an alternative school, yes schools mess up too, but mostly the kids she deals with are messed up by their environment and circumstances, they have no control all means I wish you lots of luck...because you are going to need it...


    Answer by older at 3:43 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • If you've done your research, and know y'all can do it, then GREAT! I am NOT a good candidate to homeschool my kids; I don't have the patience for it.

    Your husband and you both need to set down clearly defined rules about visitation and homeschooling. School hour are from blah to blah, just as if they were in a school building. If either bio parent wants to assist in the education process they need to write up detailed lesson plans that include who, what, when, where, why, and how. If the plans are acceptable to you, allow them to assist. If you don't feel it is well thought out, decline their offer.

    If they're as less than ideal parents like you say, they're not going to put that much effort into the process, thereby shooting themselves in the foot.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:29 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • OP, I do not think in anyway that your crazy for doing this....I just have never met anyone that has done this that has not ended up regretting it....

    Answer by older at 2:03 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • @older - What do you think the comparative percentages of kids messed up by each schooling choice really are? Do you think no one is "messed up" by public schools? Homeschooling affords me more of an opportunity to take those odds into my own hands and exercise my personal interest and resources to give my children what they need. I think with true commitment to that pursuit, homeschooling is the best place for them. I get it, it's not for everyone - and I have no issue with that. This is what I think is right for my kids, and yes I have thoroughly considered what it will do to them socially and I have made arrangements to address that aspect of their education accordingly.

    thank you everyone for your comments!!! :-)

    Comment by ashleyaction (original poster) at 12:56 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • I get so sick of the argument that they need to go to school to learn social and life skills. Seriously, has anyone noticed how kids under 5 manage to talk and interact with people though they've never been for school? Or how about that schools don't teach you how to cook, do laundry, balance a checkbook or make a grocery list and a household budget - unless your school happens to offer a very specialized course for it?

    Homeschooling is not for everyone, no. But it can be good for some, and if you believe it's good for your kids and that you can handle it, then you should go for it. As far as their other parents, they need to understand that your kids are still in school - just at home. They don't get to just take them whenever they want. As far as them doing some of the teaching - if you wanted to let them do it, I'd keep a copy of everything you send and then be prepared to reteach the lesson.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:54 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • Sorry, I meant "does." This stupid keyboard leaves out letters sometimes.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:54 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • I agree with the therapist. Don't change the visitation schedule till you are all comfortable with the new schooling arrangements. Otherwise, I think it would just be too much adjustment at once for the kids. Then give the bio mom a small amount of teaching responsibility and see how she des before handing over more.

    You may be crazy, you're also brave. I have a blended family, and I can't imagine home schooling on top of everything else. Good luck!

    Answer by Ballad at 12:50 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • I happen to know a lot of well adjusted, well socialized, intelligent adults that were homeschooled. I fully agree that socialization and passive life skills are important aspects of a well balanced curriculum, and I absolutely have plenty planned into mine. The thing about public school is that IMHO the bad out weighs the good. I respect your opposing opinion and I have considered that viewpoint thoroughly (as a lot of people have it). In the end there are more ways than one to teach a child the extra-curricular skills that they actively and passively learn in a public school.

    I happen to know a lot that were messed up big time, specially when they reached college age...and they were lost in the academic world of public institutions.....

    Answer by older at 12:49 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • That's kind of how I feel, and how the therapist feels. Thank you for your insight, I didn't know if I was being self righteous or not. The therapist told me to invite her into my classroom to co-teach and to send homework with her but not to let her take her on school days unless she was going to bring her to my house during school hours. My concern is that this will be a furtherance of her concept that she should be able to take her whenever she wants and not take her whenever it's inconvenient. She wants her two school days a week and has said that she wants to teach art and some reading, lol. We are having a meeting to discuss how much more complicated than that it really is but I think she thinks that homeschool means no school in some ways. :-( I'm worried she wont take her to our co-op functions, classes, and other organized activities through the YMCA and girl scouts that we have planned into our curriculum. Thanks!!!

    Comment by ashleyaction (original poster) at 12:49 PM on May. 8, 2013

  • I was home-schooled 3-5. I loved it! But then I loved learning, so I excelled at home - completing 2 years of math in 1 and really diving into science. It wasn't so great for my sisters who lack self-discipline and would rather hang with their friends all day.
    I will say this, blended family or not, your choice to home-school makes you the teacher. That means bio-mom, aunt, cousin, g-ma, whoever, can't just come into your classroom and decide that they want to teach math, or reading, or chapter 2 of science. They wouldn't do that in a normal school setting, and this is no different. However, after school hours, if they wish to help their son/daughter with their studies or go more in depth with science or English or whatever, that's their prerogative and you'd be hard pressed to stop them. But school hours are school hours and that means the kids need to be in their learning environment and have their nose in learning.

    Answer by daylily888 at 12:40 PM on May. 8, 2013

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