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3 Bumps



Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite m
eal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem. 


Asked by Anonymous at 7:36 AM on May. 9, 2013 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Thanks for the laugh.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:13 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • LOL

    Answer by Alisim at 7:54 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • Karma works in the most wonderful ways

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 8:55 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • LMAO!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 9:01 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • hahahaha!! Priceless!!

    Answer by HappyEndings at 10:05 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • That is great!

    Answer by chelsae4 at 11:18 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • Touche!

    Answer by tasches at 1:56 PM on May. 10, 2013