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Extra chores or extra hand writing for discipline?

My son is almost 6 and timeouts don't work and he doesn't play a lot of video games or anything like that and I just cannot figure out what to do when he gets in trouble! Should I give him an extra chore or give him sentences or something to write a few times???? I don't want to torture him or anything but I want my point to get across that what he did was wrong and I don't believe in spanking.

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on May. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (13)
  • I do sentences with my son. Usually reasons why he got in trouble or why he shouldn't have done what he did. It helps with his handwriting, with writing skills in general and with creativity. So it is a win-win. Plus he really hates doing them!

    Answer by kmath at 9:49 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I do chores with my girls, but with my 6 year old boy I think sentences would be perfect.

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:57 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I guess it depends on what he has done. but I'd probably go with chores before writing

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 10:00 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • How about just talking with him about what he's done and why he shouldn't do it again? I never understood the sentences thing. I had to do it in school for talking but the punishment had no correlation to the crime so it wasn't effective. (like I was going to stop talking, that's just crazy). Explanations always worked better for me when I was a child. It still works today!

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I have done writing punishments, but not until they were older, I didn't want them to view writing as a punishment and hate to do it.

    I always tried to do logical consequences. So I had rules like "Mom's dirty word rule" which was...if you say something dirty, you clean something dirty. On my dirty word list were things like "I hate you." "You're ugly "You're stupid" as well as the more traditional 'dirty' words.

    If they didn't get their homework done, they obviously didn't have enough time for doing it, so no television or video games on school nights.

    But I didn't want to give a punishment that might make them view school, writing, reading or homework as something bad.

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:04 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I agree with admckenzie.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:06 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • Unfortunately I can explain til I am blue in the face and he will do some of it again and again... Throwing things in house or standing on couch or just not listening during class or soccer class, not listening to me... It is more a not listening issue than anything.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:22 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I feel your pain! Whatever you choose to do, just be consistent he needs to know what the consequences will be. Try to find something that's important to him, that he has to earn the privilege of doing (such as video games, his favorite tv shows, a favorite toy. These things are all privileges, and if you don't take care of your responsibilities, you don't get privileges.

    I had one son that nothing seemed to be important enough to change his behavior, unfortunately, he had some hard lessons as a young adult.

    Good luck mama.

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:00 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • I had seen a unique idea for consequences. Take a bunch of different chores or tasks that are put on individual pieces of paper and thrown into a jar. Depending on the behavior or problem, they draw whatever number of these that you decide is fitting.

    I thought it was a great idea. On the flip side I think it would be just as beneficial to have a "positive" jar as well. Reward positive and give consequences for negative..... :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 11:15 AM on May. 9, 2013

  • It's too bad you don't believe in spanking, because it really is the single most effective means of discipline. And, what's even sadder, is that if your son believed you would do it and do it correctly, his behavior would probably improve overnight. I've seen in my lifetime the changes in attitudes regarding spanking, and I've also seen the decline in childhood behaviors and respect for authority. It all makes me very sad.

    Answer by NannyB. at 11:42 AM on May. 9, 2013

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