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My 2 1/2 year old hit a girl in his class

My son will be 3 in September. He has speech delay because he's bilingual. Otherwise he's a happy healthy and over active kid. He's a little moody, with disobedience some days, but tends to follow rules and gets along with everyone. He goes to daycare 2 days a week.
So last Thursday he hit a kid in his class, pushed him on the playground that he fell down and got a little hurt. His teacher had it all written in the form but forgot to inform me when I went to pick him up. He didn't go on Tuesday because we were out of town for family vacation. He went today and his teacher gave me 2 forms to sign!! He and this girl in his class (ofcourse they wouldn't tell me her name), were fighting over a book. So he hit her with that book (which was a hardcover, ouch!) and she started having a nose bleed!!
I was embarrassed beyond anything. I have had issues of him sometimes (not all the time) pushing kids here and there when things are not getting his way, but we instantly put a stop to it and tell him it's wrong. Even if it's the other kid's fault. I even teach him if the other kids hits you, you can't hit back.
I have talked to him about it and he still doesn't understands "conversations". I talked to him today about this in the car when i picked him up from school, told him "no hitting okay?" and he says okay. I don't know if he really gets it.
What else can I do. help please :(

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on May. 9, 2013 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • This is a VERY common in a room full of 2 year olds. They are experiencing a lot of changes in their little lives right now that they have no idea how to process. Just keep reiterating that hitting is not ok, and that he needs to use his words.

    The majority of hitting, kicking, biting, hair pulling and other infractions at this age are due to frustration. They don't have the words to express their emotions, so they lash out the only way they know how. When you're with him, try being his voice when he's starting to get mad.

    I did the same with my son who had speech delays because of undetected ear infections. Once I stepped in and became his voice, at times, his frustration levels decreased dramatically.

    "Hey, that's MY toy and *I* was playing with it! Give it back!" then take the toy and give it back to your son.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:14 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • you can tell him if he can't play nice he can't go to daycare to play with his friends. Worked with my DS he did that too he pushed a kid of a table and then hit a kid in the face with a toy all in one day which he has never been bad at daycare before so I threaten to take daycare away from him.
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:02 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Tell him if he hits anyone or fights that you are taking away his favorite toy & giving it to the Garbage Man. Then if he does do one of those things, really take away the toy (pretend you are throwing it away & hide it of course). He will only learn if he actually sees a result of his bad behavior. My Son never hit anyone but that worked great for us & very quick. Actions speak louder than words.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:04 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • It is horrible that her nose bled, but he is 2 and I am sure he has been pushed or hit as well. Perhaps the teacher wasn't paying close enough attention to stop it before it got out of hand.

    Not trying to blame anyone really. Just what could have happened. My 2 year old comes home with bite marks and bruises quite frequently.
    AngZacc

    Answer by AngZacc at 3:00 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Keep doing what you're doing, but don't be too embarrassed because this stuff happens all the time when there are a bunch of toddlers interacting. A kid bit my daughter on the face last year in preschool because they were fighting over a book. The good thing is, your son is learning how to behave at two years old, when the stakes aren't as high as they would be if he pushed or hit another kid at five or six. Just keep up your teaching, Mom, and realize that sooner or later, the child your son pushed will probably be on the giving and not the receiving end of something. Your son isn't a bad kid, he's just being two.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 3:05 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • How did the caregiver present the info to you? My guess is that it was more about reporting what happened than suggesting that you should "do something" about it. I don't believe it's effective to try to discipline for this after the fact. He didn't hit because he thinks it's good/okay; he hit on impulse in the moment when he was overwhelmed in the middle of a conflict!
    This is something to respond to in the moment (ideally responding with comprehension for why it happened & providing guidance as to what TO do when you feel that way, rather than punishment/consequences focused on discouraging the behavior. What children need is support & strategies; focusing on disapproval & punishment provide neither.)
    Ideally, teachers are alert, proactive & preemptive and they get involved to facilitate the "toddler negotiation" BEFORE the hitting or biting happens. Sometimes they don't get there fast enough. But it's a classroom issue.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:22 PM on May. 9, 2013