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3 Bumps

Would you be mad if your ex let his girlfriend's kids.......

wear your kids clothes and play with their things ?

Now to let me explain... My ex husbands live in girlfriend has 2 other children ( boy and girl, like mine, similar in age) ... My kids go there 1-2 times a week ( they stay the night 1-2 times a month) ...

I have always dressed my kids nicely and have always taught them to take care of their things.... I have also taught them to share, it has never been a problem before...... But now I find myself irate over my ex and his gf basically taking things from my kids and giving them to hers.

I usually send an extra outfit over with my kids... My kids will come home filthy in the same clothes they went over in, but yet the extra clothes are not in their bag.... or they will come home in their change of clothes and the ones they wore are not in the bag ....I let it slide a few times but then I brought it up with my ex... he said the clothes are probably lost in their dirty clothes ( if you go into their house, you have to make a trail through their dirty clothes and trash) ...... One day I seen pictures on facebook of her daughter.... in MY daughters outfit ...Over time I seen more and more of this happening with both of her kids... they basically refuse to give me their clothes back....

There has been other time when my kids will come home without one of their toys... I understand toys can get lost or borrowed... but I have heard way to many stories ( and from the way she acts when I am around, I believe it) ....about her purposly taking toys from my kids hands and giving them to hers..... once when they stayed the night my sons said that the girlfriend took his stuffed turtle ( that he sleeps with) and wouldnt let him sleep with it because her son wanted it ... my daughter said my son cried for a long time for it until he fell asleep.

It makes me mad... I dont know what else to do.. I have tried talking to them, but obviously they dont see the problem

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on May. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I would be upset if my kid's clothes got ruined by other children or if they were sent with the other kids. I wouldn't care if they shared toys as long as the kids didn't take the stuff that I bought for my kids away from them or break it
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 2:25 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • How old are you're kids
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:29 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I would stop sending extra clothes and toys with your kids. There's no reason your ex can't spend a few bucks on an extra outfit or two. If the kids come home filthy - take pics and document for when you go back to court. Communicate with your ex via email so you have a record of what is said!
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 2:31 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • That is so hard to deal with. I don't know how I would be able to handle that. I'd be a raving lunatic. How old are your kids? I'd freak out if she took away one of my kids special sleep toys & gave it to her kids. I'd speak to your ex then If it continues, I'd call her & say please make sure all the clothing is sent home since you are missing some clothing they need for school or your ex has to give you $ for new clothing & you will wash the used clothing & don't ever take a sleep toy away because your Son cried about it when he got home too & is now afraid to go there.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 2:31 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • No, I think I am at a stage in my life nothing bothers me anymore.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 2:32 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Why doesn't he have his own set of clothes for his kids? I wouldn't pack clothes I bought and send them for weekend visits. What he does with what he buys I guess I couldn't get pissed but I wouldn't like it.

    I would be upset that something my child sleeps with was taken from him and he cried himself to sleep. now I understand sharing but that's something that doesn't need to be shared IMO.
    skinnyslokita

    Answer by skinnyslokita at 2:34 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I agree with the other posters. Don't send anymore clothes and toys. Send your an ex an email ahead of their next overnight visit stating that since the kids' clothes have not been returned, you will not send any more over and the kids can just wear what's already there. Same with the toys. You can be a snarky or as neutral as you'd like.
    KPBMom

    Answer by KPBMom at 2:38 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I ask because are they old enough to make sure they bring their own stuff back? I would also stop sending extra stuff over there
    LostSoul88

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 2:41 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I agree; don't send any toys or clothes over except what your kids sleep with, that kind of thing. I would also write an e-mail to your ex, and save a copy, stating that since clothes and toys haven't been returned, you expect him to furnish the items used for the kids at his house.

    Good luck; I don't envy you. I would have come unglued about the girlfriend taking the boy's stuffed turtle away and letting him cry himself to sleep.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:50 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • The turtle thing would have me in her face. My boys each have a stuffed animal that they have always slept with - my 12 yr old still sleeps with his. I would be explaining to my ex that if either of my kids tell me that she took away a favorite stuffed animal like that again, I will have his ass in court to get it in the court order that the items I send with my kids are to remain with my kids, period, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

    I'd quit sending clothes. With the ones they've kept, they have plenty to clothe your children while they are there - and if they don't, then to me, that would be grounds for going back to court over this issue.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 3:36 PM on May. 9, 2013

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