Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is this really nothing or could there be more, and advice on what to do

Ok so my hubby has some good friendships with other women, I know them and I'm ok with it. But there is one I don't know and they text everyday almost all day. I only know this because of the phone bill. When I have confronted this he tells me I'm just mad he has a friend he can talk about everything with. About a yr ago there was sexting between these two I saw on his phone. Might be the reason I'm uncomfortable, he says there's no more talk like that. So ladies am I just over reacting or not?

Answer Question
 
momma91011

Asked by momma91011 at 7:27 PM on May. 9, 2013 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • If you found something that makes you uncomfortable, then yes there is a problem there. He's not respecting your feelings. I believe there is or was more to the story at one time.... sorry.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 7:35 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I don't think a married man should be texting other women unless they are his daughters. Call me old-fashioned, but I didn't get married so I could share my husband with another woman in any shape, form or fashion!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:39 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I think you are under-reacting. You are supposed to be the one he shares things with. I am not the jealous type, but I'll be damned if I put up with my DH giving some other woman what belongs to me. I would draw the line. What exactly is he talking to her about that he can't talk to you about? Their past setting is very concerning. If it were me, considering their past and his continued contact with her, I can say that I would get ready to give an ultimatum. I would say he needs to cut contact with the other woman and we need to get into counseling to figure out what is missing from our marriage and decide if its worth fixing / working on, OR we start figuring out finances and planning our divorce.

    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 7:43 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • If you are uncomfortable about it and he is dismissive or turns it around on you, then yes I think there is more to it than he is saying. I say this because a friend told me about her similar experience. Her DH turned it around on her, too. He eventually gave the other woman up, but it took a lot of counseling. And she is still leaving him once she can get enough money to afford a place to live.
    A real man would apologize and stop texting with her.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 7:46 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • If he is doing something that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy and then blowing off your feelings, that signals real problems between you, pretty much regardless of exactly what he is doing.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 9:50 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Those alarm bells should be ringing VERY loudly.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:57 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Ok so my hubby has some good friendships with other women, I know them and I'm ok with it. But there is one I don't know and they text everyday almost all day. I only know this because of the phone bill. When I have confronted this he tells me I'm just mad he has a friend he can talk about everything with. About a yr ago there was sexting between these two I saw on his phone. Might be the reason I'm uncomfortable, he says there's no more talk like that. So ladies am I just over reacting or not?


    red flags!


     

    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:08 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • not over reacting at all

    blaming you -"he tells me I'm just mad he has a friend", very typical of someone who has something to hide to blame the other person

    imo, he should not be talking with anyone else this often, should not be confiding everything in anyone other than his wife, of course no sex texting- should have ended and any future contact between should have been ended completely, and blaming you "you are just jealous"- is trying to take focus off himself
    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 7:09 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • Your DH is cheating. He should be talking to you all the time not another women.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 1:23 PM on May. 11, 2013

  • I think it's called an emotional affair, if in fact they aren't having a "real " affair. I would ask him if he would be willing to go to marriage counseling. He either can't or won't see this situation from your point of view. I'm so sorry.

    musicmaker

    Answer by musicmaker at 3:08 AM on May. 12, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN