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4 Bumps

Hope I don't offend anyone!

Let me start off by saying that I love my son to death. I will never hurt him, and he's healthy, and extremely smart. I show him love, and so does everyone around him.

I got pregnant at 19. I'm 21 now, my son is 2. And honestly, I'm not enjoying mother hood at all. Ever since I had my son, I've felt different. My attitude has changed. I'm always sad, upset, or stressed. My mind doesn't rest, seriously! I've realized being a mom I hard!! So hard that I honestly don't want to have any ore kids. Sometimes I feel like I want to go crazy. Just run away, and disappear for a very long time... My son makes me laugh and smile, and makes my heart melt. But he also makes me feel like I'm seriously going to lose it one day. He doesn't obey me, he cries A LOT, and he throws crazy tantrums.

Right now I'm not in school, and I don't have a job. It's hard for me to even find a baby sitter, and daycare is too expensive. His dad is great with him. He takes him anytime I ask him to. And honestly, he is with his dad more then he's with me. Him and his dad have a stronger bond. I feel like sometimes, I need help. Mentally and emotionally. I don't have money for a doctor!

I love my son. And I really do wish I can be a better mom, but my mental state is not there right now. I want to run away, And get my stuff/life together. Would I be selfish?! If I just left him with his dad for awhile. And get a job, go to school, and get my own place... My boyfriend helps me a lot with my son also... But that's still not enough!!!!

Sorry if I offended anyone.
Wish I would have known before I got pregnant that I was one of those Mona who doesn't deserve a beautiful blessing!!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:28 PM on May. 9, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (20)
  • Excuse the typos.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:29 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • you need help.. where is your family?? is there anything they can help with?? sounds like depression
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I'm throwing out the BS flag.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • You should qualify for free counseling. Contact agencies in your area.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 10:35 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • Guess what,, everyone feels like this being a mother is definitely not about you, Anyone who tells you it's easy and wonderful is acting or has a nanny. Find a phone # or free clinics or get a job. These things can distract you until you enjoy life again. Please don;t blame your sadness or anger on the boy he is innocent and will love you unconditionally forever. Buck up princess you are an adult now and it sucks!
    pinkparcel

    Answer by pinkparcel at 10:38 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • The only family I have that can help is my mother. But she's usually working.

    And what's a BS flag? Nothing I said was BS! I am a mother who is obviously not in the right state of mind. I wish this was BS!!!! You must not know how it feels to cry every night from depression, stress, guilt, loneliness , I can go on and on. So if you're unsure about something, then don't comment at all! Cause everything I said was the truth , I have no reason to lie.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:40 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • You really need to talk with someone about what your options are. Maybe you could start with the child's dad. If not him, then someone whose opinion you respect. There is help available and some of it for free. My husband and I are trained counselors through our church, and I know that the people who trained us have trained others across the nation. So you can call churches in your area and ask.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • You're right pinkparcel... It's definitely not my little boys fault...
    But I just feel like I can't take it anymore. I really do. It's not him, it's me. It's my screwed up head!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:43 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • If you have medicaid call a psychiatrist and schedule yourself an appointment. There's nothing wrong with letting his dad take care of him while you get yourself together, being a mom isn't some magic joyride. I've had plenty if moments when I just cry because nothing else seems to work. You need to have a sit down with dad and talk about it ASAP. Good luck
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 10:43 PM on May. 9, 2013

  • I want to disappear for a little while, but I feel like its so selfish.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:46 PM on May. 9, 2013

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