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Who's mainly considered in visitation? Parent or child?

My ex never hurt my DD. He neglected her, but I was always there so she never went hungry, unchanged, etc. I see alot of cases where a father who doesn't even know his child gets visitation. That makes me wonder if a visitation case is about paternal rights the child's best interest like a custody case. My ex is not awful for my DD, but he's not at all good for her. He's unemployed, rude, racist, sexist, uneducated, doesn't clean up after himself, doesn't maintain proper personal hygiene, lives in a dump, bullies his younger siblings, selfish, and just not a good person at heart. Not a good role model. Home with me, DD has 2 loving parents, a clean home, proper nutrition, constant attention, play time, learning time, friends, etc. My boyfriend treats her like his own princess. Does that matter? Staying away from her dad is in her best interest. But is that what the courts look for? Or is primary focus on paternal rights?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • The courts look for what is the best interest of the child. The father not being in the childs life is not usually what is in the best interest. Your BF is just that, your BF. Your child has a father and you described a man that does not sound so good, but you also had a child with that man you described. He has every right to be apart of your childs life unless he is abusive.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Courts should always consider the best interests of the CHILD! It sounds like your child's father would not make for a good provider or role model (among other things!). Stress all the facts you stated above--pictures may even be helpful, along with proof of income (or lack thereof). Explain the history of this man with regards to your daughter, and how you and your boyfriend are providing for your daughters needs in a stable and loving home.

    Present yourselves in a polished, concerned, and factual manner, maintain the upper hand by showing you are a united front, by rising above the pettiness. I cannot imagine a judge making your child (especially a girl) have to be put in a potentially harmful/life altering situation.

    Good luck!

    Answer by LoriKeet at 1:18 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • They always consider the best interests of the child first. It is considered in the best interest of the child to know both parents and have a relationship with them unless the parent is actually harming the child.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 1:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • That's bs. They go for parental rights. Parents will cause more trouble for the court than a child if they don't get what they want or feel cheated. They will claim best interest of the child but they will still balance the rights of each of the parents even if he is a negligent, discusting jerk. You also must consider the fact that the court looks at it as YOU knew what he was like when you decided to have him father a child with you so in that capacity they figure he's not THAT bad that he can't see his daughter.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Wow if he can't take care of himself then how is he supposed to take care of a child. I would just get full custody of her and explain why you think he shouldn't have visitation rights beacuse I was in the same situation until my babys father decided to change and take care of his daughter. Unless he just doesn't want anything to do with her then for her safety then just get full custody of her and a restraining order. Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

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