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5 Bumps

I just want to smack her !! ( friend's pregnancy smoking)

My best friend of almost 15 years is driving me to the point to where I just want to smack her !

She is currently pregnant with her 3rd child...

and she is currently smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes a day... She smoked with her other pregnancies ( and I really believe that plays as a factor in her older two's behavior problems) ...Her middle child even has bad asthma, and has to go to the doctors every few weeks because of trouble breathing... the doctor has told her several times it is because of her smoking.... she believe this is not true because she smokes on her porch, or rolls down the window in the car....... Obviously she is wrong, and it should be apparent since her house and all of their clothing and things reeks of cigarette smoke.

BUT the part that drives me crazy... She is so wrapped up in the safety of this baby, she is only buying certain bottles and binkies for the baby, and is having her sleep in a playpin or bassinet because she is afraid of SIDS ....... She gave away the kid's guinea pigs because their waste can be harmful to pregnant women.... she will not eat any kind of seafood....and the list goes on and on of the things she will not do ......... BUT she thinks it is ok to smoke.....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on May. 10, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You're her Best friend, so you should be able to be honest and tell her exactly how you feel about her smoking. So tell her, if she doesn't listen, then walk away.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:52 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • Not your business.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 10:57 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • Wow, that's pretty sad, won't eat seafood, but smokes like a chimney. I had a friend who smoked all during her pregnancy, and her son was born with a cleft lip and palate. The doctors told her that her smoking was one of the biggest risk factors for this defect. Even after the doctor told her that, she continued to smoke and pumped breast milk for him.

    We were both pregnant at the same time, and back then you could smoke in restaurants. She knew I was a big pepsi drinker, but I gave it up while I was pregnant. We went out to lunch one day, and she said "Just get it, you know you want it." I told her I could give anything up for 9 months. Then after we ate she started to light a cigarette, and I got upset, I told her "You can do what you want to your baby, but you're not going to do it to mine"

    After the baby was born with a cleft palate, I couldn't watch her smoke and pump breast milk, and our friendship eventually dissolved

    Answer by ohwrite at 11:02 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • I have told her... when she told me what the doctor says, and it is like she wants me to agree and say " yeah that doctor is wrong, you smoking is not resulting in your child not being able to breathe" .... But I told her that the DR was right.... and she would feel so much better... I even offered to buy the stuff to help her quit .... but she gets mad ... Her mom smokes as well ( which is why she started smoking at 12 years old ) ..... and her mom also sees nothing wrong with it ( but obvioulsdy her being in her early 40s but looking and sounding like a 70 year old man with long hair, should be a sign) ...

    And I feel like it is my buisness... this si soemthing that can kill my friend and it also affect me and my kids when we are around her...... not to mention I take care of her kids, which means I have to know what to do when they can barely breathe... It is horrible dealing with that, and yes it is my buisness

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:03 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • Pathetic. I think it's trashy when pregnant women smoke. I can't comprehend your friend being in denial over the health of her children. There is just too much evidence out there against the dangers of smoking. I feel it's your business too. We try our best to protect our loved ones, and this is all it sounds to me like you're doing. I would continue to talk with her about it.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 11:09 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • sadly, unless she WANTS to quit-it's never gonna happen, and she is probably going to live in denial until then

    not much you can do, if you have already brought it up -and her doctor has too

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:23 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • It's an addiction. Try buying her an electronic cigarette.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 11:54 AM on May. 10, 2013

  • I want to smack people like that too. I developed cancer from second hand smoke, so no one smokes around my children. And it really pisses me off when people smoke around children. My mom always rolled down the window in the car too.

    Answer by mommy_jules at 12:19 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • Well what she supposed to do? Do everything you're not supposed to do while pregnant because she smokes? Honestly this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Well she might as well eat seafood and guinea pig shit since she smokes anyway. Do you have any idea how addictive cigarettes are? Maybe instead of wanting to slap her you could support her and try help her. Most doctors say that the stress of trying to quit is more harmful to the baby than smoking. Maybe she should slow down a bit and maybe you could help her with that instead of judging her.

    Answer by Hollyhock. at 12:25 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • I don't agree with what she's doing, but she's a big girl. She's been told the risks and chosen not to change her behavior, so she--and unfortunately her baby--will have to deal with the consequences. You can't fix the world.

    Answer by Ballad at 12:39 PM on May. 10, 2013

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