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What did he mean by a pet project?

I over heard my daughter which is 23 talking to her boyfriend. They've been talking and going out for 8 months or so. They seem to be a little distanced these days though. They were talking sex and he said he wanted her to be his pet project.
I'm lost as to what this may mean.
Wasn't sure where to put this.

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Asked by Anonymous at 4:10 PM on May. 10, 2013 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • Wiktionary gives it this definition:
    A project, activity or goal pursued as a personal favorite, rather than because it is generally accepted as necessary or important.

    So it doesn't sound like he wants to be real serious, but is looking forward to it?

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 4:25 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • Where did you find this out? Did she tell you? Did you hear them say?

    I think that a lot of the meaning could have been in other things that were said as apart of the conversation. A lot of the meaning in the tone of the conversation.

    Pet project to me means you like the person but it's an experiment, suggesting neither party knows where it will go or how things will turn out.

    In a sexual point maybe kinky stuff?

    If he was saying that about your daughter to someone else to me it would be a bad thing... but yeah It's hard to say.

    Answer by Skepticchick at 4:38 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • I had heard them and asked her about it because I was concerned. And she said that they've had sex a few times but neither really wants a relationship. So then he he said that he wasn't a saint and nor does he pretend. He likes to have sex and that she'd be his pet project. She agreed...but wouldn't tell me what it was. She acted a little embarrassed though.
    I know she's an adult but I can't help but worry.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:46 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • Sort of along the lines of friends with benefits, or recreational sex. Just playing around, not really having sex because they love each other. Casual sex. May or may not be okay with you, but if your daughter wants that, it would be best to at least make sure she doesn't bring home any babies.

    Answer by Ballad at 5:02 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • sounds like he is more interested in the sex than the relationship part
    a pet project to me- is something you put a bunch of effort into
    "He likes to have sex and that she'd be his pet project" pretty much says it all, if you ask me *and she seems to be okay with it

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 5:43 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • Sounds like he wants a mostly physical relationship with her, rather than a more complete relationship that sex is just a part of.

    I'd stay out of it. She's 23, I would hope by now you've taught her well enough for her to decide for herself whether or not she's okay with it (which it does sound like she is). Let her know you're there if she needs you, but I wouldn't talk to her about it anymore unless she approaches you.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 6:01 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • Could be that she's inexperienced & he's taking it upon himself to teach her some new tricks! Not a conversation I'd care to listen to. I'd say at her age, she needs some privacy


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:48 PM on May. 10, 2013

  • stop ease-dropping on your 23 yr old.... geesh!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:38 PM on May. 14, 2013

  • I'd tell my daughter that if she had any self esteem she would be no one's PET project. She can find decent guys to have sex with. This guy needs to get lost and find other "pets" to project himself on.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:29 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • I would be insulted to be refered to in this way and I would tell him to get over his self.

    Answer by morebee7 at 1:24 AM on Jun. 7, 2013

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