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money issues

Me and my husband make enough money to have like $400/month to put in savings. I nanny all day long and then work at McDonalds at night til 12 or 1am. I never really ask DH for money to spend on me, and if I do, he always says something like what do you need money for? Or honey, we are trying to save money! (in a whiney voice) which makes me feel guilty for asking for money. He knows I need things for myself like he tells me 'I'm glad you had a day off honey, just some time to yourself' but it seems like that is all I get! Am i being selfish to just wanna take myself out to lunch one day or buy myself a pair of earrings or a new shirt? It's not like we can't afford a little spending money. And if I'm not being selfish, how do I get money from him???


Asked by CassCass at 1:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Money & Work

Level 6 (108 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Keep an allowance for yourself out of your paycheck. Explain that it's important to you and you can still save x amount of dollars per month. Doing this while wearing a lowcut shirt over a candlelight dinner and following it with sex can't hurt.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 1:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • You are married, it's your money too. Don't ask work for the money like he does...just go do it. Does eh get new stuff when he needs it?

    Answer by momjoy1027 at 1:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Money "from" him? If you Nanny and then work at McD's, isn't the paycheck in your hand? I think that all working people need "pocket" money from each paycheck each week. And you shouldn't "have" to explain to the other person what you spent it one....lunch, a new shirt, etc. It's yours for your week's work...all other money goes into the bill account.

    Answer by EireLass at 1:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Its yours too and you deserve it to occassionally use for yourself! Go to the bank and it get it yourself. If you arent on the account, then that needs to change. You contribute too. Just make sure you dont go overboard when you do get to spend! :)

    Answer by sylvia10907 at 1:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Stop 'asking' him for money. Start setting aside a little for yourself out of your own paychecks. He doesn't own you.

    Answer by lilbit837 at 1:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Yeah, I guess I don't understand why you have to ask for money. I am a SAHM, but my husband considers all of our money mine, too. I never have to ask for money. He doesn't own you, and you should have access to the money just like he does.

    Answer by StarLee at 1:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Well, I also feel guilty because the only money he ever spends is on bettering the apartment we rent or occasionally going out to lunch (maybe once every 3 mo or so, unless we decide that we want to eat out together). He just makes me feel so guilty for spending money! I have spent money before because I know that it is mine too, and I don't ever keep anything from him, so I always end up telling him about it, and he always responds with saying "oh, ok" and not looking too happy or simply asks, "did you really need to?" Its not like he gets mad at me, he just makes me feel really guilty. And i have tried to get him to buy things for him so maybe I wouldnt feel so bad, but he always says that he doesnt need anything.

    Answer by CassCass at 1:52 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Is he trying to help you stay on target for saving for something specific, like a car you desperately need, or a house downpayment? If so, then don't try and make him feel bad for keeping on track. Do you really need the new earrings or other things that really won't mean as much to you in a week or two?

    Answer by halfpint_ny at 2:04 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • halfpint: well, thats another one of my arguments. Its not like a really need those things, I just WANT them. so maybe i am just being selfish. we are trying to buy a house, but we are not specifically trying to save up for a downpayment. my husband is just a penny-pincher

    Answer by CassCass at 2:06 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Let him save his paycheck and you use your paycheck to buy you something that you want.

    Answer by lisakay32 at 2:52 PM on Feb. 17, 2009