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6 Bumps

Is my husband crazy or full of it?

My husband left his phone in my car and I found several (100) messages between him and a female we know who is also married, Actually we hang out with her and her husband. I am mortified my husband would text someone I know & that he would text the wife of a friend of his.

Her: hey you
him: sup?
her: just checking on you
him: awww you miss me
her: ya I sure do

days later

him: Im in your neighborhood
her: oh really
him: ya what are you doing
her: cleaning house
him: are you in your pajamas cleaning house image, come watch
her: I want to watch you clean

days later he was supposed to take her a book for me
him: are you home
her:ya
her: thought you were going to cum by
him: had to work
her: thought you didnt want to see me
him: you know that's not it

days later (our wedding anniversary)
him: hey
him: silent treatment?
her: you know I would never give you the silent treatment
him: you want me to bring you this book
her: I sure do
him: I'm going to come give it to you alright
him: ya you know you want it

I guess after he left
her: I didn't even get my hug
her: you should come home more often

2 days later text her at 430am to ask is she up

next day him: I'm working at (name) new restaurant cum see me I'm lonely

This is where I found his phone he swears NOTHING happened. He had no intentions of being with her and does not evne like her,and is not attracted to her he says he just likes the attention, it is just flirting and means nothing, it was just joking.He says he was just texting and yes while he was texting someone, he was not texting this chick with intent to be with her and he does not like her at all. I find this to be impossible you are texting a person, so you are telling them that you want with them.

Also less than a month before I found out he has not been paying our bills, our home is in foreclosure & he kept it a secret from me. He has not paid our house payment in a year. I feel this info tells of his character thats why I included this info. And yes I am worried about my house being foreclosed on, the chick is just the latest in the saga of my lovely marriage.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 AM on May. 15, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • It's also possible that the financial situation is a RESULT of spending on an affair (but then again you have those root causes for being vulnerable to affairs in the first place), but it seems more likely that the financial situation & secretiveness (shame, struggling to hide it all & fix it somehow) is driving the "flirtation" as a distraction, emotionally.

    I do think no matter what you have a big situation to address. There are real problems & I suspect your husband needs help, as does your marriage.

    This would be alarming & hugely upsetting to discover. My heart goes out to you for sure and I wish you the best.
    girlwithC

    Answer by girlwithC at 10:18 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Frankly, I kind of think the other woman is the least of your worries at this point. He has effectively made you and your children homeless. He has lied, he has made it clear that he does not respect you. It sounds like you should have been taking a more active role in the finances and other things, but even if you didn't, he HID those things from you, and a roof over you and your children's heads is crucial.

    Now that I've said that, to address your actual question, your husband is both crazy and full of it: his story is full of it, and he's crazy to expect you to believe it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:41 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Sweetheart, he's lied to you up down and sideways. Believe NOTHING that comes out of his mouth. NOT ONE THING.

    Call all your creditors to find out your status. Then call a lawyer to find out what you need to protect yourself. Quite frankly, this marriage is dead. He killed it through lies and deceit.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 10:09 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Is my husband crazy or full of it?


    he may be crazy, but is is 100% full of it



    prepare yourself, the house foreclosed, the cheating with other woman, and who knows what else he is not being honest about


    hugs


    you are strong, you will make it through

    fiatpax

    Answer by fiatpax at 8:34 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • With the money, he's either spending it or her: hotels, etc. Or is hoarding it for leaving: divorce/attorney/just not wanting you to have access to it.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:11 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Obviously you know him better than we do, but that seems fishy. Even if he was "just flirting" he should not be doing it with someone else. Also if he already has a history about lying about big things it makes it would make it harder for me to trust.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 5:30 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Ummmm.....yeah, they're having an affair, at the very least an emotional one, though it's probably physical.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 9:08 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • Sounds like you had start taking a more active role in the marriage! Homes in foreclosure get notices sent in the mail. You don't read the mail? You have no clue how much is in your checking account? Where is the money going?
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 8:17 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • He's lying. Contact a few of the best divorce attorneys in your town and have consults. Pay cash. Do not let him know what you are doing. Consult with the best because even if you don't end up hiring them, he can't hire them.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 9:16 AM on May. 15, 2013

  • He's full of it, but you already knew that. You should be understand your finances, and check the mail, open bills, this is your life too. Sorry for what your going through. Good luck.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 9:41 AM on May. 15, 2013

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