Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What's the best way to cope with a breakup while pregnant?

I'm 15 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend, or ex now- and I got into a huge fight a month ago and decided to break up. We were together about a year when I got pregnant and broke up a week before our one year anniversary. I was extremely sick with morning sickness in the beginning and it got so bad I had to quit my job temporarily. I have 2 kids already from a previous relationship and I'm trying my best to deal with all of this. He gives me money to help with bills but thats the only time we talk besides at doctors appointments. Ive tried talking to him about working things out and trying therapy but he refuses and says we need our time apart to work on our own issues, but he 'still loves me and wants things to work out' I have family and friends to support me but I'm so sad and I cry all the time, I still feel so alone. I never thought he would do this to me while pregnant! If anyone else is going/has gone through this what are some good ways to deal with this?

Answer Question
 
Baby3in2013

Asked by Baby3in2013 at 2:17 PM on May. 15, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • Well, being pregnant probably amplifies your roller coaster feelings because of the crazy hormones, but being upset all the time isn't good for your baby. Could you see a counselor?
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:33 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • Plan on being a single mom!
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 3:06 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • You just have to take it for what it is. Focus on your kids and the new baby, read books, look forward to appointments, get your home ready and enjoy your older ones while you still have time to focus on them.
    amazinggrace83

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 3:38 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • Yeah my hormones have been crazy and Im trying to control them the best I can. Yes I actually scheduled an appointment and went to see someone yesterday but it was just a pre-screen kind of process, they will be calling to actually get me in with a therapist next week. Yes...single mom it is I guess. I find out the sex next week so that'll be nice so I can start buying things and getting stuff ready. Thanks ladies.
    Baby3in2013

    Comment by Baby3in2013 (original poster) at 5:35 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • First thing I think you should do is stop all contact with him. Including doctor visits. You do not have to let him come to them. Sense you two are not married. And the child is not born yet. Make him go to court and do DNA , CS and visitation.  That is what I would do.  Personally you should stop taking his money too. Get independent of him.  He doesn't want to be with you. Make it hard on him. Make him work to see his kid.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:40 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • My ex and I have 3 children together. He left me every time he got me pregnant. I don't know why your's left but mine was a jerk and said he thought pregnant women were ugly. He moved back in after the birth of each one. I finally got smart and divorced him! lol Now, as for how you get through it, you just take one day at a time. You have two children to keep you busy. Just take care of you and the children now. Let him work out his issues. Just don't make yourself ill worrying about him. Sometimes if you act like you don't care it can bring them back too just to see what's up with that!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:56 PM on May. 15, 2013

  • Yes im debating leaving him completely out of the pregnancy. I dont think its fair that he deserts me but still gets to see the ultra sounds and hear the heart beat...then get to be there when the baby is born! Why should i let him? I dont even want his money but being that im trying to get back to work right now since i had to resign my last job since my morning sickness kept putting me in the er, i have no other choice right now. Thats insane that he left everytime you got pregnant!! Im sorry! Honestly i have no idea why he left he kept turning everything around on me saying i was forcing a family (first of all dont date someone with kids if you dont wanna be a stepdad!!) and that i need to control my emotions..he would get mad that i wanted to see him more often because working and going to school was his number one priority. I do not call or text him at all and he is blocked from my facebook..
    Baby3in2013

    Comment by Baby3in2013 (original poster) at 2:34 PM on May. 16, 2013

  • Omg!!! Story of my life right now. I'm 28 with two kids from a previous relationship and 35 weeks pregnant. My new partner broke up with me 3 weeks ago saying that he wasn't ready for life with me and my kids but he wants to be there when the baby is born and can't wait to be a dad. He wants to be friends and all. I sacrificed everything! My life, my career, the life of my kids for him
    To just..... I'm out of the sadness stage, I'm just angry now.
    Bunny084

    Answer by Bunny084 at 8:09 AM on May. 31, 2013

  • Bunny084...so sorry to hear...yeah we have pretty much the same situation sadly. Except now I have made the decision to cut him off from the pregnancy completely. It got to the point where he was calling me yelling and screaming and harrassing me (on mothers day for instance). He says hes completely over me and wants nothing to do with me and is happy knowing it will be just 'him and his son'. So i told him i need time to heal and i dont want to see him until the baby is born..at which he continued to harrass me so i had his phone shut off (luckily it was on my plan) so i havent heard from him. Its so horrible how a person just changes into a monster and it hurts when they involve your kids too :( Its almost been 2 months for me now and im still sad but im really angry too. How can they just walk away? Ill never understand it.
    Baby3in2013

    Comment by Baby3in2013 (original poster) at 10:43 AM on May. 31, 2013

  • He is 22. He WANTED this baby sooo bad. I told him
    Wayyy before we started dating he was too young for me, I have kids, I come as a package. I was happy with my life, I was happy with my job, I wanted to travel, have more fun, as I had my 1st child at 19. I was with my first partner for 10 years. It was volatile.
    I gave him plenty of chances to walk away if he wasn't happy or if he found it too hard, but no, he was happy. What kind of man leaves his pregnant partner, like nothing... No remorse. Not an ounce of guilt for messing up my life, my kids life.... I JUST DON'T GET IT! HOW CAN ANYONE GET THAT???!!!
    Bunny084

    Answer by Bunny084 at 11:04 AM on May. 31, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN