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How do I fix this problem?

My SD annoys the Hell outta me! I love her, but she really drives me mad at times! Shes 5 and dense.....I kno its a horrible thing to say, but she really is! I dont think shes "slow", just lazy. I want to have a relationship with her, but I dont kno how to get over my feelings.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:29 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (8)
  • That sounds just abit harsh, almost like you have some resentment towards her. Remember, she is an innocent child and as the adult you should try to overlook the things about her personality you don't like and give her as much love as possible.

    Answer by Eliza34 at 8:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I agree with Eliza. Remember that you can't expect a child to act or react the same way you would an adult. Sometimes talking to them, explaining things simply, helps. I don't know what she's doing that you say she's being "dense" but getting angry won't help. Kids can pick up on your anger and frustration and it just makes things worse. Try to remember to keep calm.

    Answer by amethystrse at 8:34 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I think that you need to get some sort of family counseling. I know how difficult children of the age can be, but it gets harder as they get older and if you don't work this out now, you will have real problems when she becomes a teen. I have two teens and a 6 year old, so I know from experience. If your SD seems dense, she could have a learning disability and ridicule will just cause resentment and loss of self esteem.

    Answer by snugglebunney at 8:42 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • YOU are the adult.
    YOU chose to become her step mom.
    Shame on you.
    Teach her some good traits. Watch supernanny. Read a book.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Okay, some of you are being a bit harsh towards this mommy. It is hard to become a step mom. My step sister is the same way! She is VERY lazy. She has lived with us since she was five and is now 13. She refuses to shower, brush her hair, she wears dirty clothes, and doesnt do her homework resulting in very bad grades. We have tried everything with her. Nothing works! She needs counseling but her dad refuses. If you can get her counseling so she understands why she has a new parent and if it applies, a new home. I feel that she is just confused why she has to mind a new parent and listen to them instead of what she has always done. Help her understand that it is fun to help and that you wont be upset if she doesnt want to but you will be upset if everyone else is doing these things and she isnt. Good luck!! Step kids are tough to deal with because they arent used to the way you run things. Keep that in mind!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:52 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I used to be a stepmother and my stepdaughter had a lot of issues. It was really difficult to deal with at times. None of it was her fault. Her BM was horrible and a lot of her issues stemmed from that lack of a relationship. There were times that I wished I didn't have to deal with it but I would go back and do it again in a heartbeat! I miss her terribly. Just remember that they are children. It is difficult to be a step parent and it is also difficult to be a step child. At her age she is still easily 'fixed'. Just show her that you love her and bond with her. She deserves another loving parent. Never look at her as being an extension of her mother (not saying that you do). She is half her father and your biological childrens sister. Just love her... it's what she needs. :)

    Answer by pipandmijosmom at 9:41 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • Well if someone ask a question and wants an honest answer they need to take the good and the bad, atleast I think. So here is my opinion: Yes you are the adult but ALOT of kids have issues with divorced parents especially towards the step parent. BUT I am sure you were aware that you husband had a daughter? therefore you need to suck it up and try and deal with it. You are NOT her mother therefore she will not have the same respect for you. Plus, I wouldn't have respect for you either if you thought i was dense (your words not mine) So try to sit down and talk to her and go to the movies with her alone do fun things with her show her that you are nice and you understand her and her feelings. Also maybe you can let her know you aren't trying to be her mother. Give more info about living arrangements and rules then more opinions will come because there isnt much info.
    good luck!

    Answer by 1boy1girl4me at 12:45 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • my stepdaughter wasnt taught well enough..on vacation with dad, me & our daughter it came apparent that she can remember to put clean clothes on..but oops! forgot the undies! she is 2 years older & going into 4th grade for heavens sake. at our home i try to teach her hygiene..she said "I dont need new undies..i put these on yesterday" Her i am explaining yes But you Just took a Bath lets put these on. struggle with teeth brushing also, yet she picks on dd if she sees her dark ya $100 her mom missed last few dental visits if ya wanna

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on Jul. 13, 2008

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