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4 Bumps

How do I deal with my sons girlfriends mom?

Her mom believes that everything should revolve around her. My son is a senior in high school his girlfriend is a sophomore. They have discussed sex and it makes me nervous. Their too young but I made sure my husband and I had the conversation and I bought him condoms(better safe then sorry). His girlfriend is spoiled so she tells her mom everything. When her mom found out she called me and demanded to know who I thought I was doing that. She said if her daughter got pregnant no one would have a say in what happens but her. She would take custody of the baby and try to force my son to drop out of college,get a job and pay her for raising it. When I asked her what if my son wanted to raise it himself she said it wasn't up to him. This is the horrible crap she says all the time. How do I keep my cool and not hurt my son by telling him to break up with this girl he cares about. Remeber she does everything mom says

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Mammabeck

Asked by Mammabeck at 4:22 PM on May. 17, 2013 in Parenting Debate

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Honestly, I'd find a way for him to hear her say all that for himself. Hopefully that would scare him into, at the very least, not having sex with this girl. Also, depending on where you live, once he's 18 and she's under 18, there could be statutory rape charges brought against him - if that's the case where you live, I'd point that out to him and remind him that if Mom's bitch enough to make those threats, she's bitch enough to badger her daughter into pressing charges against him. I'm not real big on using fear to get kids to do things, but sometimes it's about the only thing that will work.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 4:26 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • At this stage of his life I'd just keep preaching responsibility to him and make him very aware of consequences. I wouldn't worry too much about the gf or her mother. Relationships at this age come and go. Your job is to help him be able to move on when he wants without being tied to this girl due to a pregnancy, etc
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 5:29 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • They are still young. Hope when he graduates high school and goes to college he will become more involved with college life and let this relationship go.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 4:26 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • Why would you have a conversation like that with anyone. What if she gets pregnant. What kind of conversation is that/
    snookyfritz

    Answer by snookyfritz at 4:26 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • I would not converse with her Mother EVER. Hopefully he'll leave her eventually. The Mom probably said those things to you to scare you into making sure your Son doesn't get her pregnant. If you say anything bad about his girlfriend to him then it will probably just drive him farther away from you.
    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 5:00 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • She's in for one hell of a shock if she thinks the father has no rights to any potential children. She really can't do any such thing as forcing him out of college to make him pay child support. Having said what she did though may make them reconsider if they want a sexual relationship. Personally I would not deal with her mom. Just her. Be cautious what you say around her since you know it will be said to her mom. Hang up on her ass if she calls you again. You don't have to deal with her right now. There aren't any children involved and they aren't married yet.
    2autisticsmom

    Answer by 2autisticsmom at 6:03 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • Truthfully. You should  just inform your son. You do not like his girlfriends mom and will not be talking to her ever again.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:04 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • Let everyone know you do not deal with "possible" problems only those that are real. Make sure your son in involved in activities and hope this romance dies a natural death, like many do, once he heads off to college.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:13 AM on May. 18, 2013

  • All threats.  I say.   I doubt  legally she could do those things. They can force CS. But custody. that is all up to the courts. When you go for custody arrangements.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:20 PM on May. 17, 2013

  • I would smile and nod, like someone said legally she can't do any of it....don't cross the bridge until you get there...
    older

    Answer by older at 10:23 AM on May. 18, 2013

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