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Bil is dating dh missteress said he had stopped dating her but really hasnt how do we handle this?

My dh hid a relationship with this hussy. from the day I found out (oct08) bil has been dating her. dh and I are in counciling & are doing great. at christmas dh's grandma said bil told her he wasnt dating her anymore. I found out that they are still dating. this is the longest bil has had a relationship with any female. We have not spoken with bil or mil(who is thrilled by this girl) or mil family since oct. what do we do? my dh has refused to talk or have anything to do with his family since, or ever again. Even to stand up to them and tell them he is pissed and hurt.

 
hypersquirrel

Asked by hypersquirrel at 3:14 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (100 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • uugh! Thats not very much respect, how could your Bil Do that, knowing The hussy has caused family problems? he must be a trouble maker, nothing like scpappin SIL_ ID stay far, far, away,Its filth an disrespect to both of you an any kind of family relationship,you may or could of had! Keep Lookin UP!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:27 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Ohhhh, what an awful situation!! Why the hell would the bil take dh's sloppy seconds???

    Geesh, stay strong chic. Thats all I can say
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I think you are both over reacting... I know you have a past with this woman but seriously! BIL is a grown man and can date who ever the heck he wants and neither you nor your husband have any right to tell him other wise or get pissed off at him over it.

    Your husband made the mistake of having the affair with her. Why punish BIL & MIL for your husband's doing???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:17 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I don't really get it. Why does it matter if BIL is dating her? Your husband messed up, but what does that have to do with BIL?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Well, there is a "guy code" anon 3:17....maybe you weren't aware of it. I would think that it would apply to this-most def. This bitch maybe CRAZY and keeps contact through the BIL. You never know.

    Your husband should have told his brother that THIS was not cool bc of his cheating. Too personal
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:21 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Let it GO!! It seems to me that its causing YOU more misery than you need.. With all do respect, what difference is it to you? Let your bil live his life.. IF he makes a mistake by dating this girl it will be his mistake. IF he is happy be happy for him.. You and your husband are letting this eat away at you and you need to LET IT GO!!! Enjoy what you and your hubby have together and live your lives together and BE HAPPY!!
    honeys_sugamama

    Answer by honeys_sugamama at 3:25 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • every day as long as bil is dating her I have to live with this knowledge that she is that close to me. my husband has effectively lost his family and my daughter and uborn son as well have lost their family. because I have to look into my daughters face everytime she asks about grandma and tell her that we just cant see or talk to grandma right now. she is only two cant possibly understand whats going on. it is hard to move on from being cheated on when you cant get away from the person who cheated with spouse.
    hypersquirrel

    Answer by hypersquirrel at 3:29 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Creepy.

    Way too much of a soap opera.

    Find a way to get the grandma back in the picture - regardless.

    So - just to be clear - your husband's brother is dating your husband's ex-mistress. And the brother knows that the lady he is in love with has been intimate with his brother (your husband). And the mother of both brothers knows this and is OK with it.

    WOW.
    Wimsey

    Answer by Wimsey at 3:38 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • You know, out of all the "fish in the sea" why would your BIL date the girl that caused you and your husband problems. Yes, your DH was wrong but to go to counseling and from the sounds of it, make ammends with you, your BIL obviously loves drama to date the same woman that would rightfully so make you uncomfortable. They have to understand that having her around is going to make it harder to fully trust and connect with your hubby again. Family meeting time. DH needs to have a long discussion with his brother. Hopefully, brother wishes the best for your marriage.
    Mrs.Phillips007

    Answer by Mrs.Phillips007 at 3:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • you never talk to those inlaws again, they are trash and will pull you down with them...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2009