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Should their punishment be the same?

If one of your children doesn't tell you that another one of your children has tried marijuana?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on May. 18, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (20)
  • Have you routinely encouraged tattle telling or a myob attitude

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • Not really, we have ALWAYS told them all that things like drugs, alcohol, sex are serious things that we need to know about.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:03 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • That seems to place a big burden on a sibling. I'm conflicted about this one. After some thought I think that, no, the sibling who didn't tattle shouldn't be punished.

    For that matter, I'm not sure the one who "tried" pot should be punished either. Maybe it's a good time for a discussion about why/where and go from there

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 3:06 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • Thank you so much for your input and more so for being non-judgemental. We have had the drug, alcohol and sex talk before (actually more than once) but in this day and age, peer pressure is SO much harder on kids than when DH and I were teenagers.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:10 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • Right, but have you had a talk SINCE s/he chose to try it? You're right, peer pressure is tough and it's important to understand that those "talks" aren't a one time thing....they go on and on and grow and expand as your children age.

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 3:12 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • I also would not punish the sibling. Other than keeping quiet, the sibling did nothing wrong.

    For me, ages would be a determining factor for what/how I would punish the child that smoked marijuana. In my state, now, recreational marijuana use is legal, so that would also play a factor on how I dealt with said child.

    I don't envy you your tough position right now. I would DEFINITELY take some time to calm down and have a clear, level head when dealing with this situation.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 3:16 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • The one who tried it is 14 and the one who didn't tell is 10. We have had these talks with them and expressed our expectations to all three (10, 13 and 14).

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:19 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • Asking a sibling to tell on their sister/brother is wrong for their relationship...there should be a bond there! this is why he did not talk!

    Answer by older at 3:36 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • I'm with Mrs_Prissy on this.

    don't punish the 10 yr old for not telling. And don't be *too* harsh with the one who tired it- just have another serious talk about it
    *if he continues to do it -then that is an entirely different thing to be dealt with

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 3:37 PM on May. 18, 2013

  • No, you shouldn't punish the one who didn't tell.

    Answer by kmath at 3:38 PM on May. 18, 2013

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