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2 Bumps

Are My Fears Justified?

My husband and I will celebrate our 2 year anniversary in June But last year we were having some issues because he was always staying late at work,leaving without telling me,where he was going
and never showing me any affection. I got tired of the lack of intimacy..he wouldn't even sleep with me. Telling me he could sleep better on the couch. So I left and went to visit my mom. Well, fast-forward to 4 months later..I finally return after he convinced me things will be better. Only they are worse..he still won't sleep in the same bed with me and he is friends with several female coworkers. Even has their phone numbers and texts them when at home. The other night I asked him if he has sexual thoughts about any of them and he didn't reply. He takes them to breakfast the weekends,telling me he would invite me but I'm too shy and wouldn't enjoy it. So he goes and leaves me home alone. I can't take much more..is he cheating or am I being paranoid?



 
Lonely_Wife

Asked by Lonely_Wife at 3:42 AM on May. 19, 2013 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Oh yeah, your instinct was right when you left for 4 months and, honestly you shouldn't have come back. He is clearly cheating, maybe with even more than 1 person.

    He probably wanted you to come back because A.) The current girl he was with at the time broke it off with him. Or B.) he got scared realizing how much a divorce & CS would cost him. or C.) he started to realize he'd look like an ass to his friends & family. Or D.) A bit of all of the above. But, he clearly didn't stop. He just got back with the first chick or found another/s.

    Get proof & contact an attorney.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:40 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • I just want to add that lack of intimacy, not just sex but, affection, sleeping in separate rooms & mysterious electronic communication (calls, texts, emails, FB) are the biggest cheating red flags! Not too mention, being gone from home often.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:43 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • Why are you together? The relationship is crap, there's no sex, you don't trust him.... MOVE ON.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 7:43 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • I don't know if he is cheating, but it's clear that you don't have a marriage. He just has a live in maid. Leave for good this time and find someone that is worthy of you. This guy doesn't deserve any additional chances.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:41 PM on May. 19, 2013

  • Was he like this before you married? What happened in those 2 years? Do you work? What hobbies do you have? Maybe focus on being happy yourself first. It's only 2 years so something happened or you figured he would change when you married maybe. Go back to your Mom & start over. GL!

    ILovemyPaulie

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 8:54 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • get a spy tracker thing for his phone and any computer defense he uses at home

    find out exactly what he is saying to his "girlfriends"

    betting he is not just friends with all these women, and then you will have your proof, call your lawyer get a divorce and start a new life

    i think your fears are very justified

    hugs, cheating husband suck, but you will get over this stringer than before
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • Do YOU think it sounds like the perfect marriage to you??
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 12:05 PM on May. 19, 2013

  • Thank god you are smart enough to file for divorce. Most men want to "work things out" only to please their own ego so they can rationalize it as not being dumped by you. His actions during the time you left him say it all. Instead of improving himself or doing something to please you, he focused on pleasing himself. Being selfish and a jerk is reason enough to leave someone. I'd go crazy staying with someone like that. Good luck and take care!
    hellokittykat

    Answer by hellokittykat at 2:17 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • He wanted you home after you left - there must be a reason for that. If I were you I'd insist on counselling if you want to save your marriage.

    If he is simply friends with his coworkers then he should have no trouble showing you the texts ... Also, it should be up to you to decide whether you want to go to breakfast with them, not him. Insist on going this weekend. Tell him you'd like to meet his friends... his reaction should let you know where you stand.

    Personally, I don't think you'r paranoid. IT may be nothing but he is doing nothing to show he's trustworthy. I have male friends, some of them were coworkers others weren't. My husband knows all of them, has met them and knows they're just friends. I have no qualms about him seeing their emails (and sometimes forward them to him if there's something that might interest/entertain him in them).

    Your husband needs to prove that he has nothing to hide...
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 4:52 AM on May. 19, 2013

  • You deserve better. Get counseling together or call a lawyer.
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:01 AM on May. 19, 2013