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2 Bumps

Just asking your opinion....

It has been over a yr since my deadbeat ex dropped my son off in the middle of the night in a parking lot half clothed. Ever since he hasn't tried to contact him at all. No phone calls, cards, nothing! My son doesn't ever want to see him again which is understandable.

I know that I need to contact an attorney and I will when I can come up with the funds, but do you think I will have a good chance to have the orders modified for me to get sole custody since he basically abandoned his child??

I want to get something in place just in case something were to happen to me. It scares me at the thought of him going over there. Especially knowing at how he feels about his dad. I think about that stuff now because with my sister's passing her son had to go with her ex husband.

Just needing some thoughts on it. Thanks!!!

Answer Question

Asked by goofygalno1 at 11:15 AM on May. 20, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 27 (30,638 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • In our state it's 3 months no contact is abandonment. Go for it, what a horrible guy :(

    Answer by funlovinlady at 11:17 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • I think you stand a pretty good chance. It just depends on your states abandonment laws. Look into his dad giving up his rights too. Even with sole custody if anything happens to you chances are he will have to go with his dad.

    Answer by kmath at 11:19 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • Laws vary by state. Call your local bar assoc. to get a free or low-cost referral for a consultation w/ a family lawyer, to get some direction on this. Maybe a local college law school could help you prepare the paperwork or give you some guidance. Stories like this make me so sad that these men can just disregard their own flesh & blood. GL to you & your child.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:19 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • I have been looking up TX law and trying to see what it says. I just want to have all of my bases covered before I go in and hit him with it. And yes, he is a horrible guy!!!

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 11:19 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • yeah, I have read that too... and that's what I am scared of. I definately don't want him to go with his dad. I know he would have a hard time. He has no love for his dad at all and I feel so bad for him. And I don't get it either. I don't see how someone can just toss their kids aside like that....

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 11:21 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • What a prick. I hope you do get sole custody and he never goes near your child again.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 11:22 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • Hope you have close friends or family members that can step in when he needs some "guy time". His own dad isn't fit or deserving of time w/ that child. Again, GL

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:25 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • I would check with your attorney about your state laws. Can't hurt to inquire. How old is your child? Does your ex pay child support? how has he contacted you before he disappeared for a year? I would insist on all communication being digital (either by email or text) and document everything. When he calls, how often, date and time, what is discussed during the call.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 11:33 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • yeah mrsmom I have 5 brothers and some coworkers as well that are good friends. so I try to make sure he gets plenty of guy time. He has his cousin that he loves hanging with as well. hopefully he can hang more with him this summer.

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 11:33 AM on May. 20, 2013

  • Quinn, my son is 13 and yeah a little bit of support is coming in. For about a month or so there wasn't because he moved out of state with his new wife and her kid. At the last hearing for the insurance modification he tried to tell the judge that he is trying to get on disability. I just laughed and wanted to say, "for what? you can't get disability for ignorance!!" lol

    And he doesn't call at all. He would text but that was over a yr ago.

    Comment by goofygalno1 (original poster) at 11:47 AM on May. 20, 2013

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