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2 Bumps

Too Independent

Do you think a woman being to independent makes some guys afraid of you?
I have a male friend, we've been friends for year, like sense the 1980's - Anyhow, we've both been married and divorced. We found each other again and have become more than friends, so to say.
BUT I get the feeling that he is scared of my Independence. I'm now a single mom, my ex ran from paying child support and has not seen the kids in two and half years.
I own a home, have a decent job, my oldest just finished her first year of college.
The kids and I recently took a trip through three states - was suppose to be four, but we came home a day early - not traveling through Oklahoma due to the bad weather.

He has been divorced twice, the second in 2006 - lives with his mom - which does not bother me. We live in a small tourist town where the rent it outrageous. I could not rent a place for what I pay for my home each month. It's insane. Plus he works two jobs and takes care of his parents ranch - he'd never be at his home, if he were to rent.

I just don't understand - so ?

What are your thought on a women being too interdependent - does is scare some men away?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on May. 21, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • That's all on him. He probably feels like a failure compared to you. But, that's not your problem or your issue, it's his.

    Answer by 3libras at 4:24 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • But how do I let him know, that doesn't bother me - I'd love to share what I have with him. Without degrading him :(
    He's a mans - man and I'm not sure how to go about this.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:30 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • Really, you can't do anything. Either he can handle it or can't. And, if he can't, then he's not right for you.

    Answer by 3libras at 4:34 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • I dont understand the point if the question.
    Has he shown interest. Is he pursuing you?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:38 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • Thats me
    Gorilla fingers hit anon

    Answer by feralxat at 4:38 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • Never mind - Forget it,

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:43 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • I think it does scare some men, especially if you have known this guy for awhile and you have become more independent over time. When my husband came back home from deployment, I was very independent compared to what he was use to. It did scare him a bit and it was a bit hard for him to adjust to the new me. I would just talk with him and see how he feels. 


    Answer by JeremysMom at 5:03 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • I think men like to feel needed in some way, and so if you're very independent, he may feel like you wouldn't need him. And while we might sit here and think, "Well, but I would need his love, and emotional support, and affection", they don't think that way. He'd be thinking more in terms of needing him to help pay the bills, or fix the sink, or something concrete, that can be seen.

    But you shouldn't feel bad or try to change who you are or how independent you are for him. You should be proud of your independence, and hold out for someone who can appreciate it. Maybe that'll be him if he gets over being bothered by it, maybe it'll be someone else. Only time will tell.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 5:36 PM on May. 21, 2013

  • no it wont scare him away if you keep telling him you're into him

    Answer by lullaby572 at 12:02 AM on May. 22, 2013

  • Men who fear independent women are men to be avoided.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:06 AM on May. 22, 2013

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