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4 Bumps

A question for those who had crappy parents growing up adult content

What were some bad things that happened to you?
My friends and I were talking about something we all 4 had in common,a parent that decided that we in our teens,needed to find somewhere else to live. 2 of us literally got "if you don't like living here,you can get the fuck out!" I was 16,she was 13. The other 2 had parents that decided they were going to live somewhere else,and they were not coming along. My friend D had an alcoholic mom that got out of treatment,and decided that she was now living alone,and told her daughters that THEY needed to find somewhere else to live until they were 18. They were 12 and 16 at the time. My friend M's mom decided to move to another state,took her middle and youngest child along,and abandoned him. He was 15.


Asked by butterflyblue19 at 1:35 PM on May. 22, 2013 in Relationships

Level 50 (383,297 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • My parents weren't alcoholics or drug addicts. My dad worked and paid the bills, and my mom stayed home and raised the perfect family, only it wasn't so perfect behind closed doors. She was physically, verbally, emotionally, and sexually abusive to me, but not to my siblings, because I had a disability and she would accept nothing less than perfection in her world. On the outside, she was a pillar of the community--always volunteering at school and for the local hospital, donating to the food bank, leading the Girl Scouts--but like one family friend said, she'd drive by our house and if she could hear my mom screaming and yelling from inside her car on the street, she knew it wasn't a good time to stop. And nobody noticed if the little blind girl had a few bruises because, of course, she must have bumped into something, poor thing. I got out as soon as I could.

    Answer by Ballad at 2:05 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • You don't EVEN want to hear my story! I haven't seen or spoken to my family, Siblings included for over 15 years!
    It's just me, DH and our boys.
    For years I've felt that I didn't deserve the life I have now but now I know better.
    I broke the chain of abuse!

    Answer by PMSMom10 at 1:31 AM on May. 23, 2013

  • One of my fave stories (shows how her thinking worked)
    I was apr 15 and we were driving near downtown in SA
    We got in an argument so she kicked me out of the car AND her life/family etc

    She then got pissed and made me get back in the car and grounded me
    Wanna know why?
    Because i didnt have an emotional breakdown about losing my mother and family. I just walked away

    It proved (the walking away) that i had never bonded with the family and didnt appreciate everything she had done for me

    Answer by feralxat at 2:06 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • I also peeked and I can't imagine.
    Mine was not "normal" but I had food and clothes and shelter and a good education.
    I really had a decent life. And I am truly shocked and sad whenever I hear these stories that children have to live through this stuff.
    I would not go back and live it again but I would be grateful if I could see my parents again and tell them thankyou and sorry for the pain I must have caused them (all children do)
    You ladies are true survivors.

    Answer by Dardenella at 1:05 AM on May. 23, 2013

  • Not as bad as that, but my dry alcoholic father allowed my alcoholic uncle to verbally abuse me every time we went over to his house. We could not leave his house until I was sobbing hysterically. There was also a lot of verbal, mental and psychological abuse, and neglect while I was growing up. I became a latchkey kid when I was 10. I'd be home alone for a minimum of 3 hours every day after school.

    I would not wish my childhood on anyone.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:39 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • My dad made it so hard to stay at home that I just left at 16. It was called running away back then. It was actually ilegal to do that in Washington State and I got sent to juvi jail for it.

    Answer by louise2 at 1:39 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • My mother is extremely self-centered and inherently selfish. Now granted she was young back then, but at 61 now she's still selfish. Anyway, when I was 2 yrs old, she decided to leave my father because she wanted to go back to college. But, she never told him that. She just told him that she wanted to go visit her parents. My dad brought us to the airport and saw us off but, my mom & I were not on the return flight. My mom had gone to her parents at first but, then enrolled in school 2 hrs away from them (where my dad's family was) and, subsequently dropped me off at my parental grandparents home saying that she could not handle or afford me. Which, is BS because her parents (my maternal grandparents) were extremely well-off. And, I know they would've paid for everything.

    Other things, of course, have happened but, I don't consider them due to bad parenting.

    Answer by 3libras at 1:47 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • Oh, I guess I should add that my father ending up raising me. I'd went years without seeing my mom, or even receiving a call or a card (or much less presents). Because she was always "too broke": pothead. And, she didn't really come back into my life until I was 18. Even now if I call her all she does in whine about what she doesn't have. It's always about her.

    Answer by 3libras at 1:58 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • "if you don't like living here,you can get the fuck out!"

    I'm sorry, I peeked at this question out of curiosity. I actually had it pretty good. But if we are judging our parents based on that statement being made to us when we were teenagers, then I think half the population could qualify to answer the question. :p Not poking fun, but I can still hear my dad saying that & I don't think of him as abusive. In fact, after reading what some of you have been thru, since I can't hug you all, I think I will hug my parents or give them a call & thank them for doing such a great job. *hugs* ladies


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 2:31 PM on May. 22, 2013

  • My mother and father divorced when I was a year old. He was an alcoholic drug dealer, my mother smoked "only" pot. She got together with my "step father". He apparently was very kind to me until my sister(his first chlid was born) from then on he was abusive, emotionally, verbally, sexually, and on occasion physically. He was/is a drug addict/alcoholic and was very abusive to my mother. My mother was definately verbally abusive when she was around(worked alot as the men in her life never worked). She split from my Step father when I was 16, then on the next guy. Who was also abusive(he ended up disabling her for life). The day before my 17 bday I told her either he left or I did, and she showed me the door. I didn't leave though as I couldn't leave my younger sisters(who I had been caring for more like a mother) behind.

    It's no wonder that I started drinking at age 11 drugs at 12 and self harming at age 8.

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 2:32 PM on May. 22, 2013