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my husbands trying to make me feel bad

After having out little girl last yr. my sex drive has went down. He is complaining cause he ain't getting it when he wants it. He keeps giving me papers on sex and how it makes him feel and I get that its all about him and not about me and my feeling and what is going on with me does not matter. He keeps pushing and pushing and I can't take it anymore! Does anyone have any adive for me?


Asked by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Okay, in response to all these comments about being too selfish to satisfy your man: Does he not have a hand? Not my words mind you, my husband's. As my dear hubby puts it, you can have intimacy with a partner without having sex, and no one should feel pressured into what is supposed to be an intimate act of bonding. If the only thing he wants is to get off, he can do that in the bathroom. A mother of a small baby has every right to be tired and want to rest. Granted, sex is nice and having it can help to boost your sex drive, but if you go in resenting him you won't achieve the desired result.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:50 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I had this problem after I had my daughter too. It's hormonal. Just know it doesn't last forever. If you are concerned go talk to your doctor, arm yourself with information and let your husband know that him pressuring you is only pushing you away....but also help him to understand *why* you aren't in the mood. In his own head, he could just be trying to help, but only making things worse. there came a point that for us, even tho I didn't want to, I took the dive...and just one time when I did, I finally enjoyed it, and I've never looked back.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 4:23 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Tell him it's a chemical imbalance that you can't change on your own, and ask to go to a doctor to have it checked out..

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I think you need to talk to the doctor about it. Maybe watch porn with your husband to help you get into the mood. Buy sexy outfits to make yourself feel nice. Whatever it takes. There are times when I am not in the mood for sex and my husband is so I just make myself get in the mood. Porn works wonders for us! haha

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:24 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • this is normal but just cause you don't feel like it isn't a good enough reason to not give him some. poor guy. we have to compromise in our marriages and do things we don't want to to make our spouses happy. so just give the poor man some. it's like when we drag our men to do things they don't like to do. stop being selfish and just act like a porn star for a few minutes and appease him. it's not like it's the end of the world. heck i have felt like you but we still have to give them sex to keep our marriage and so's happy. we can't be selfish and just say it's all about me. it's not him making it about him it's you making it about you. he just wants to be intimate with you. men need that to feel close to you and sex gives them that and we need them to act romantic to make us close to them. how much do you love him?, enough to give him some?

    Answer by melody77 at 4:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • It sounds like neither of you care how the other is feeling. You want it about you. He wants it about him. Maybe if you let him he would make it about you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • atleast he is teling you and not cheating on you.. i hope really you give in to sex b/c after all you are married and you should compromise at times to make it dont want him looking else wear and that COULD happen.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:06 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Give in or he will get it somewhere else like it or not!! I know its hard but you both need to compromise!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 6:09 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Solution: Have sex.
    Reason: Having sex will increase your sex drive. Not having sex will decrease it. It's proven.
    Selfishness: You feel that he is selfish because he doesn't understand but you are selfish too for the same reasons. An unselfish woman will have sex (even though she's never in the mood) because she likes satisfying her husband and it makes her happy to be able to do something for him.
    A selfish woman complains because she isn't in the mood and thinks the only way she's suppose to have sex is if SHE is in the mood and disregards the fact that her husband is in the mood.
    Sorry, but it's the truth...

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Bubble baths w/ spelly goods. Then lubrication and toys. Looking at men you have always liked to look at , or women, IDK what makes you feel good. Just work at it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Feb. 17, 2009