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My heart is breaking, my mother is going to die, but we don't know when.

My mother had a huge operation, sadly it didn't go so well, she is in FL and I am in OK, I am leaving in the morning to tell her goodbye, but just feel sick and full of regrets for what should have been a better relationship, better daughter and so on.
I am so lost and sick at the moment, I don't know what or how or if to tell my son, just want to have a do over of some sort.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on May. 23, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I am so sorry you are going through this...I am sure she understands, and would never think of you as a bad daughter...mothers never do....go make peace with her and end it on a good is better late than never..tell her all the things you never said before, make her feel loved and she will go in peace, big hugs to you, hang in there. If your son is old enough to understand about death, and has had a close relationship with her, tell him, do not leave him out, he will want to say good bye too!

    Answer by older at 5:29 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Start writing some things down in a journal while you are thinking about things & they're fresh in your mind. Pour your heart into & then you can read it to her when you get to see her. I'm so sorry you are faced with this. The loss of a loved one is so difficult. *Hugs*


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 5:27 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • I am so sorry for your pain. My Dad passed last March & I had so much to tell him & when I saw him I couldn't think of a word to say. So I just held his hand when he took his final breath & I knew that he loved me so much that I didn't need words to tell him that I loved him too. She will always be your Mom & deep down nothing else mattered ever. :( Be strong & tell your Son the truth. Let him call her on the phone so she can hear his voice say hello.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 6:14 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Sadly we don't get do overs but you at least have the opportunity to tell her these things before she goes. Many do not have that chance.
    I am sorry for your sorrow.

    Answer by Dardenella at 5:24 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Hun, this is the cycle of life...hang in there, and do your best to make things right!

    Answer by older at 5:30 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Hugs hon, I can't even imagine going through that. Don't dwell on the hard times. Just tell her how much you love her.

    Answer by kmath at 5:33 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • My heart is breaking for you, because my mom is 94 and I know that she will be leaving me soon, it is very hard to let go. If you had been a terrible daughter, your heart would not be breaking about this now, so you do have a heart and compassion....

    Answer by older at 5:36 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Hugs , just be there , really that is all that she will need , all of us have regrets, just seeing you will be the best, the past is not important , Just hold her, it is scary for her , Love to you and her . She already knows you care.

    Answer by by2013 at 5:41 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • I'm sorry you have to go through such sadness. Know that you're probably harder on yourself than your mother ever would have been on you, when it comes to how you did as a daughter.

    Answer by Ballad at 6:24 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • The whole thing is so unexpected, I feel like I am paralyzed at the moment.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:25 PM on May. 23, 2013