Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

What should I do to be able to move legally?

I plan on moving out of state next year. I have a 4YO DS. His dad lives (literally) across the street from us and has not seen DS in about 3 weeks. He doesn't call. He doesn't do anything. He talks like he cares & want to be there, but actions speak louder than words.

My main motivation for moving is to be closer to my family. I do not have a lot of family when I currently am. I'm here with my mom & she gets to retire within the next year or two, so if I moved she would follow. I want to be closer to my brother, his wife, & his 3 kids. I want my DS to grow up with them. Plus I want to move to a more diverse area with more opportunity. I have no anchor holding me here & I think it would be a great life change.

However, I am concerned that there are some steps I need to take to make sure that I can legally move with my DS and his dad not do anything to stop us. We have no custody agreements. He hasn't made any child support payments (maybe 4 months late) but other than that, nothing.

Do I need to lawyer up? What steps do I need to take before I move?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on May. 23, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • First of all don't let him know that you are planning anything. Document when he sees your son so that you can show how much time he spends with him. Talk to a lawyer for sure. Since you have no custody agreement, there's not much he can do once you've already moved, but there's a good chance that he'll be getting custody for the full summer and other vacations....and you may have to pay the transportation. I would talk to a lawyer in both states to get advice.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:36 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • he has not seen - does not matter (in courts eyes)
    has not paid cs (does not matter in courts eyes)

    does not matter IF he has a court ordered visitation and/or custody

    "We have no custody agreements"
    is there anything in writing from court? if not- call lawyer tomorrow and get it all legal like before you move
    maybe you need nothing in court or writing but i would make sure with a lawyer before crossing state lines

    good luck
    hope the 'father' does not put up a stink

    Answer by fiatpax at 9:36 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • I would get ahold of an attorney and find out your options. Only an attorney can answer this. I would however make sure to keep things as smooth as possible for all of you. For your babys' bio dad and your sons sake, try to keep it peaceful . It will ultimately benefit you. :-) Good Luck.

    Answer by LeJane at 9:42 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • If you have no custody order filed with the court you can move, and then file for custody. Once you move and file in your new location he will need to attend the hearings in the county you live in. At least that's the way it works in PA.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 9:54 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Talk to a lawyer!!!!!!!!!!!

    Answer by Crafty26 at 10:12 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • I would ask a lawyer just to be sure.
    I am unclear on one point. Has he been ordered to pay CS but hasn't or have you not filed?
    If you were not married and there is no custody agreement and you have no intention of filing for child support, I would think there would be nothing to stop you from moving legally.
    If you need public assistance after the move te will want to go after him for CS and that maybe your sticky wicket.
    It can not hurt you to ask what a lawyer thinks.
    Of course, he can file paternity on his own at any time.

    Answer by Dardenella at 10:41 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Definetly talk to a lawyer. I wouldn't think it would matter if you moved since there is no custody agreement. In some states, a mom that was never married to the father means the father has no rights until granted rights by the court but its different from state to state.

    I was considering a move within my state but to a different county. I share equal time with the kids with my ex. My lawyer told me if I wanted to move that I needed a plan in order to sway the judge and a material change of circumstance because I'd be seeking a custody change in order to take the kids with me. Our custody agreement is in writing and been agreed on in court so I have to go through the court to change it. Talk to a lawyer to be safe. Maybe you can get a free consultation.

    Answer by HHx5 at 10:50 PM on May. 23, 2013

  • Would you be moving out of state or somewhere else in the same state?

    Answer by winterglow at 1:49 AM on May. 24, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.