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3 Bumps

Blended familes!

what happens when the grandparents are on board?

like they treat my step son differently than my son.. i've been married for two years, and together for a total of three years.. we have full custody of both boys, so they both live with us!

so we are ttc, and i'm wondering whats gonna if we do conceive?? will my parents act differen't with baby...

i'm just so over this whole situtation!

Answer Question
 
mampanda0422

Asked by mampanda0422 at 12:33 AM on May. 24, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 16 (2,395 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • If you do have a baby I believe they are going to act different and pay more attention to the new baby
    Shaketa123

    Answer by Shaketa123 at 12:42 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • You may want to resolve the issue with the step before bringing in another bio
    feralxat

    Answer by feralxat at 12:50 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • If you tolerate the grandparents treating your kids differently, they will, to the detriment of your family. Don't let them get away with it. My parents tried that crap when I got together with a man who had kids from his previous marriage, and I made it clear to them that they either accepted my family as a whole or not at all. Be prepared if you draw a line in the sand, though, that you may have to back it up with action. My boyfriend, daughter, and stepson and I have virtually no contact with my parents and siblings and their kids, and I'm okay with that.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:52 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • i've been trying to resolve the problem and they truly don't see anything wrong with the way they act, and then my sister acts the same way..
    mampanda0422

    Comment by mampanda0422 (original poster) at 12:52 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • I told my parents and siblings, they either get my stepson Christmas presents as well as my daughter, or they don't get presents for anybody. They now just send a gift card for the whole family. I'd rather they didn't send anything, but since they do, I let both kids pick out what they want. They don't get to pick and choose who is nvited to birthdays or whatever parties they host--our family is invited, or we're not.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 1:45 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • We also have a blended family. I have two kids from a previous relationship and my DH does as well. We also have a daughter together, total of four kids. When asked, he ALWAYS responds with WE have four. Some if his family accept MY children, some don't. My family accepts us all. I've actually gotten in to two separate altercations with his family behind it. I feel this way, when we met, I was a package deal with my kids. I see no reason to let ANYONE ON EITHER SIDE OF OUR FAMILIES to be allowed to treat us any differently.
    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 3:16 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • My husband and I have been married for almost a year. He had one child from a previous marriage and I had two, one from a man that I never married and had actually broken up with prior to finding out I was pregnant, and one that I adopted. We just found out that we are expecting our first child together. My mother adores my step daughter and she keeps her after school, until we get off work. My mother in law loves my kids and so does his family so I'm not worried. Good luck ttc!
    Razzle_Dazzle1

    Answer by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 4:51 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • I have 3 kids from my first marriage and 2 with my husband. His parents have always been completely open and loving to my older kids and treat them just like their bio grandkids. I would not stand for them being treated differently. Families don't have to be related by blood. Would your parents love you child any less if he were adopted? Of course not. They need to get over it. Your stepson is just a child and isn't going to understand why he's being treated differently, only that he is.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 6:08 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • I will stick up for your parents. They see the step child as not their grandchild. Because he isn't. Just because your DH has full custody of his son. That still does not make them grandparents of them.  It is not like you adopted the kid.


    But they still should treat the kid nicely. And treat him like the other kids.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:28 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • I DO think it's like you adopted the step son. He may not be yours biologically, or legally, but you are raising him, you are mothering him, and you love him. It would show love and compassion on their part if they treated him the same.

    On the other hand, as long as YOU treat the boys with love, I think he'll be fine. You are the one he lives with and again, you are the one who is mothering him, to me that's more important. All through life there will be people who 'play favorites', it's a shame it has to be your family, but even with biological children, grandparents, aunts and uncles often have a favorite, and children have to learn to accept that.

    I can tell you right now, the kids will know the difference, and with my sons, the one that is favorite actually resents the fact that his brothers aren't treated the same way, so they may be, as they say "cutting off their noses to spite their face".

    Good luck mama. Hugs
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:38 AM on May. 24, 2013

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