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So, at what age do you talk to your kids about sex?

Ok, to be honest my son is only 6. But my parents and I had a convo about how kids are having sex at younger ages. So when or what age do you have the sex convo with your kids? I'm not about to have "the talk" with my 6yr old btw. I just want to be prepared.

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on May. 24, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • Well, mine is only five, so hopefully the details are a few years away, but I answer simple questions as she asks them. She asked me the other day when I was getting out of the shower why I have "black fur" between my legs--charming, isn't it--and I told her that when little girls grow up, their bodies change so they can be mommies some day, and part of that is growing hair. She said yuck, she didn't want any. I've told her that breasts and nipples are for feeding babies, and that's how she ate when she was born. She knows that grown-up women bleed sometimes and have to wear something like diapers to keep clean. That being said, when she asked how her preschool teacher got a baby in her tummy, I told her God helped to put it there. I figured that was enough for the moment. Now she keeps asking God to help me get a baby in my tummy, too. Two of them, actually, both sisters.

    Answer by Ballad at 1:37 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • Answer questions with the degree of detail with which they were asked.
    So if your son asks where babies come from, you don't need to go into the details of Cervical Mucus and super tampons.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 1:48 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • Always keep a running dialogue going with your kid. Answer questions as truthfully as you can, depending on age. You don't go into detail at 6, but you answer those questions.

    I had the "official" talk with my DS when he was 10 and entering puberty.

    Be warned though. You need to loosen up, because those questions will come and they will come fast. It's a good thing but it's also a bit awkward. This is the standard advice, to be open with our kids, and I agree 100% with it, but no one ever says how hard it can be sometimes. It can be tough but keep with it, it's worth it.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 2:06 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • My kids are 6 and 4 and so far they have not asked a whole lot, but when they do have questions we answer them honestly in a way a 4 and 6 year old can understand.

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 5:28 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • My son is almost 8 and doesn't know much yet. Our female cat was laying on her back once and he asked how we knew she was a girl and our male was a boy. I told him he's lumpy from where his tenders are and she is flat. He was ok with that. Then his sister was born last year. He saw me change her diaper and said something about how she didn't look like him. Then he said it looked like she had 2 butts. haha. He knows there is a difference in anatomy but doesn't need to know why yet. He knows the babies come vaginally & c-section and was almost scared about it. My husband answered the one about how they get in there once...ha! I forget what rediculous b.s. answer he gave but right when I was going to cut him off and correct him, my son was ok with the answer. So I let it go. I'll just make sure I'm also in the room when it's time for details because him and his family all suck at getting important need-to-know info straight!

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 6:39 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • My son also knows about adoption and thinks it's the most wonderful thing. I just go with things as they come up and don't offer more info than he's asking for. He's happy with simple answers. He doesn't seem to remember it long or he doesn't understand it as much as he lets on. Just the other day he asked me why I had to sit down to pee. He must have forgot I told him about the opening for pee and babies to come out. He thought it was hilarious when I told him it would run down my leg if I didn't sit down. Do it on a need to know basis as they get more curious. Don't sit them down one day and go into great detail about things they're not ready to hear. My sister in law DID. At 7yrs old each of her 4 girls found out about "humping."

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 6:55 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • "about sex" is so broad & vague

    I think it makes sense to talk about bodies & about reproduction from a young age. This also helps lay the foundation for future talks. But is that talking "about sex"?
    For me, talking specifically about intercourse was not a part of the earliest conversations, and it's also true that those early talks weren't "motivated" by the issue of kids having sex at younger ages. I don't think I would respond to that reality by having "a talk" as if it's somehow preventative (but certainly neglecting to talk about sex is a disservice to young kids who are vulnerable to becoming sexually active.)

    I do think talking about sex in more specific & personal ways (addressing feelings & relationships, values, choices, expectations, risks etc.) is very important for kids as it all becomes specifically relevant to THEM. And I think it's easier to make this a logical progression if you've been talking all along!

    Answer by girlwithC at 7:59 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • My kids at 4 learned that babies are made by the mommy and the daddy each giving a little part of themselves to create a new life in the mommy's tummy. They know the mommy and the daddy lay together a special way to make this happen. DS is going to be 9 this summer and we will be talking more about puberty and body changes with him soon.. followed by more details on sex if we feel he is ready to hear it (He has social delays) By 11 I think we would go into more details about the emotional side of sex including responsibility. It is a growing conversation but I do have ages I would like for them to know certain things by. I want to be the first person they hear it from so there is never any questions. I want us to be able to be open and talk about. I want them talking to us about sex and relationships to be a normal thing.

    Answer by But_Mommie at 8:04 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • We did not have "the" sex talk with any of our children. We answered their questions about sex just like we answered their questions about everything else. We also taught them that sex was to be had only within the confines of marriage. They practiced abstinence until they were married. I believe it is a disservice to our children to assume they will have sex!

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:07 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • We never actually had "the talk" but we did talk a lot about all kinds of things related to bodies/ sex and related things. When they were little it was a difference in boys/girls and as they got older it became other things. We talked in the car or while watching something on TV or whatever- usually something in a song, or on the show would prompt the discussion, OR we'd talk about things that wee going on with their friends and how they felt about it and such.
    When my daughter was 17, she came and asked me for birth control, and we went that week and got it for her. I wasn't jazzed that she needed it, but I was happy she waited that long AND that she came to me about it and tried to be responsible.


    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 8:41 AM on May. 24, 2013

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