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4 Bumps

Breaking the cycle of abuse--time to celebrate the triumphs!

I was reading the question from yesterday about the moms who have survived indescribably crappy parenting, and it got me to thinking about how so many of us have not only broken the cycle of abuse, we've triumphed over it. We are victorious, and even more importantly, our kids are winners. We bear the legacy of what happened to us, but our kids will carry something better forward and pass it on. What could possibly be better than that?

Pat yourselves on the back, moms!

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 2:20 AM on May. 24, 2013 in Relationships

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • *pat, pat* You do the same thing.

    Not only am I trying to break the cycle of abuse, I'm also breaking the cycle of alcoholism. I've talked about it before. My 9 year old was about 4. I'd had 1-2 bottles of Smirnoff Black Cherry. My son did something amazingly stupid (don't remember now), and I laid into him like my asshole, alcoholic uncle would lay into me. I saw on my son's face, the same look I KNOW I had when I was being treated the same. I finished what was left of that six pack (3 at most) over the next 6 months and have not had another drink since.

    Sips here and there, yeah sure. And, we just made some amazing chicken that uses whiskey in the marinade. The alcohol cooks off, I know that.

    I don't miss the taste of alcohol at all. In fact, it smells and tastes awful to me now.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 2:36 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • ((hugs))
    I made a conscious decision to marry a man that was nothing like my bio dad and stepdad. my husband does not drink,smoke,do drugs,or abuse us in any way. He is a decent,loving,hardworking,sweet man.
    I grew up with WAY too much abuse and neglect.
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 9:04 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • While I can honestly say that I never suffered any physical abuse at the hands of either of my parents, my selfish mother did essentially abandon me. Because of that, I try my hardest to me a good mother who is always there for her children. I even stay home and, make less money WAH, so I can be there for my kids.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 10:57 AM on May. 24, 2013

  • I was thinking about it just today; my daughter wanted me to cuddle up with her in the recliner and watch "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory." At first I grumbled to myself because I had a million things I needed to do, and then it hit me--my mom never would have snuggled up with me to watch a movie, not in a million years, and by the time I was five, I wouldn't have even bothered to ask. I don't think I would have wanted her to be that close to me if she had tried, I was already so afraid of her and ashamed of myself in her presence. So I sat down with my arm around my daughter for the movie, and we both won. Every time I sprawl out on the floor with her and play Polly Pocket, we win. Every time she tells me what she wants for Christmas from the Fisher Price catalog, when the holiday is still half a year away, we both win because I dreaded Christmas and its disappointments as a kid. Living well is the best revenge!
    Ballad

    Comment by Ballad (original poster) at 2:59 AM on May. 24, 2013