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Would it be fair to take both my kids to the store to buy one of the kids toys?

Obviously doesn't sound fair but my 3 year old daughter has a garage-sized playroom that is over-flowing with toys.

Problem is, I figured my 6 month old baby could play with those toys but now I am just realizing they are NOT baby toys at all and she's not interested, they aren't grabbable and chewable and all that baby stuff.

I want to run over to the drug store where they are having a sale on baby toys- 3 for 12 dollars and they are decent, brightly colored with lots of things that baby can touch and spin and enjoy.

I'm just already feeling bad about taking the older kid. Should I just stay home today and hope that when SO gets home he has enough energy to watch the 3 year old for me?


Asked by staciandababy at 11:37 AM on May. 25, 2013 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 38 (102,010 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I don't think it's unfair or that there's anything wrong. Just make space for her feelings about it, whatever they are, and know that everything is fine. Depending on where she's at emotionally (their sense of connection & well-being in the moment, their sense of neediness versus okay-ness, is what determines their resilience in a given situation) she may get upset & protest, or she may adapt amazingly. Either really is okay. (They just reflect how well she's doing then, how she's feeling.)
    I wouldn't recommend being hard on a kid about the issue, because I think the situation itself is the best "teacher" or learning experience about how life is/you don't always get something & it's okay for someone else to get something, rather than a remote parent lecturing that message in response to your upset feelings. I think kids internalize that very message most healthily when their feelings about the experience are accepted.

    Answer by girlwithC at 9:13 AM on May. 26, 2013

  • Staci the sooner she figures out she cannot get things everytime the other does, the better off it will be for you. This can get expensive and out of hand real fast. My daughter has been doing the same thing and is just now finding out how bad it is. One is 8 and one is 5. Of course the 8 year old's stuff is beginning to get more expensive now. LOL! Seriously, explain it to her, let her cry and be done.

    Answer by m-avi at 11:43 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • Sure.
    3 yo understands why?
    You could play on the " shell be less likely to play with yours" if 3 yo doesnt like sharing

    Answer by feralxat at 11:40 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • I wouldn't feel bad about it, but you might expect a tantrum, depending on how your kid is. Just talk to her before you go and let her know this is for her sister, not for her. I agree with others that they need to start learning that life isn't fair and you won't always get something just because someone else does.

    Answer by kmath at 11:50 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • I always did. I wanted my kids to appreciate what they had not expect it because their sibling had something. I never counted presents to make sure everyone had the same. I felt if I made an issue of making sure they all got something, they'd start paying attention too.

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 11:48 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • as you said- your 3 year old has a garage sized playroom overflowing with toys. sure, she might have a hissy fit but she'll eventually learn that sister gets special toys too and just because you buy her something doesn't mean that she'll get something too. what will she do when your baby turns a year old and all the presents are not for her? she'll have to get used to it eventually.

    Answer by tnm786 at 11:55 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • What I would do is make a big deal about the older one helping you pick out toys for the baby. Tell her she's too old for baby toys now, so she gets to be a big sister now and help the baby learn to play. Make her feel special and looked up to, and let her decide some of the toys the baby will like.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:55 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • Yes, it would be fine to do that. Besides, life isn't fair. The earlier they learn that, the better.

    Answer by QuinnMae at 1:12 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • More info- I think my baby is BORED to death of me. I know I'm the best toy and all, but... you know!

    Comment by staciandababy (original poster) at 11:39 AM on May. 25, 2013

  • I like the idea of asking her to pick out a toy for her sister, I just don't want to crush her self-esteem on that if the toy ends up being too expensive or I don't like it. Maybe if I pick out two toys and let her pick from those. Good idea.

    I mostly expected this thread to go differently, as I really did think it might be un-fair. But it is sounding like a good learning experience for the older girl.

    For the record, she is very good at sharing (and trading) her toys. She plays with all of them which makes it SO hard for me to get rid of some. I'll bag some up and I swear the next day she says "WHERE IS MY SO AND SO, ITS LOST ITS LOST".

    Comment by staciandababy (original poster) at 12:17 PM on May. 25, 2013