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4 Bumps

Feeling Rejected and Humiliated! Would you be upset? Am I over-reacting?

My neighbor/friend was over for coffee, and my husband was leaving for work. I got up to give him a kiss goodbye. He turned his face away and pulled his lips to the side. I ended up kissing the side of his lips. I really felt rejected! I don't know if my friend saw or not, but I feel humiliated too!

My husband said he isn't comfortable with making out in front of other people(Feels like it's showing off), but this would have been just a peck He's never been real comfortable with public displays of affection, and I think it's because of how his parents are. They act more like brother and sister than husband and wife.

My husband and I have an active sex life. When we're alone, he never misses a chance to feel my breasts or butt, and always tells me how beautiful I am.

I hate feeling like he's pulling away from me in public, but can't keep his hands of me in private! ; (

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on May. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (23)
  • If he can't keep his hands off you then he isn't rejecting you. He has made his feelings clear to you about PDA's so if you try to kiss him with other people around, you should already know what to expect. No reason to feel humiliated or rejected.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 1:43 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • overreaction
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 1:46 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • He's never been real comfortable with public displays of affection,

    So, you are surprised by his reaction?? Forget about it, and next time don't set yourself up knowing how he'll react.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 1:46 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • He can't help the way he feels, I am not comfortable with kissing and such in public either, it's hard to explain the way it feels but it's very uncomfortable, even if you love the person you are with. If he's loving and can't keep his hands off you in private, I wouldn't take it too personally. I'm sorry it made you feel bad, but it probably made him feel very uncomfortable in front of your friend.

    CarpeDiemV

    Answer by CarpeDiemV at 1:49 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • If you know this is how he feels, it's kind of hard to understand why you tried to push the issue. He was probably shocked that you did it in addition to feeling that his wishes about such matters had been disrespected. If I were you, I would issue him an apology for having put him in an uncomfortable spot and then I would let it go.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:49 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • In hindsight it seems like he was trying to be polite to your guest.
    staciandababy

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:54 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • You're not rejected. Yes, you're over-reacting. It's no secret that he doesn't want to be kissed by you around other people, but you did it anyway. I have to agree with NannyB. And take it as evidence that he's VERY serious about no public displays of affection.

    All that said, time for the two of you to sit and talk about this and set some guidelines for what you BOTH feel comfortable with. Perhaps you can agree no kisses on the lips in front of other people. Cheeks only.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:58 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • Honestly, I would feel hurt and humiliated It makes it feel like it's a big secret you have a romantic relationship. : (

    That said-I would set ground rules for the future that you are both comfortable with. I'm guessing you automatically kissed him good-bye, and he automatically felt uncomfortable because there was a guest. I would talk to him about your feelings, and move on.
    ForestFairy09

    Answer by ForestFairy09 at 2:24 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • If I were him, I would feel like my feelings hadn't been respected because I'd made it clear I wasn't comfortable with public affection, and I'd been put in a position in front of someone where I had to go out of my comfort zone.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 2:25 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • This is how he feels. He's been honest with you, it makes him uncomfortable. What he did was a reflex because he felt uncomfortable.
    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 2:31 PM on May. 25, 2013

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