Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Should I have kept quiet?

I'm frustrated. My daughter was playing with one of the neighborhood girls this morning, and another girl invited them both to go to the pool with her and her dad and brother after they had breakfast. Since there was going to be an adult I knew along, I agreed and helped my daughter get into her swimsuit, water shoes, and life vest. She waited by the window, and waited and waited and waited, but her friends never came to pickher up like they'd said they would. Finally, I decided plans must have changed and walked over to the pool with my daughter myself. The other kids were already there, splashing and having a great time. When my daughter asked why they hadn't stopped to pick her up, they said they forgot. She told them she was angry and disappointed, which I thought was a good use of emotion words and not pointing fingers or calling them names or anything, just letting them know how they'd made her feel. I told the dad that she'd been waiting by the window for almost an hour, I thought he should know, and he launched into this tirade about how he had the IRS to deal with because he owed unexpected taxes and had to dip into his retirement account so there were more important problems in the world than my little issues. Usually he's a nice guy, so I just chalked it up to a bad day. I told my daughter her friends hadn't left her out intentionally, and she might as wel play and have a good time. I took my turn at supervision, and then when another mom I trusted got there, I came home. That's sort of the unofficial way the pool is handled, so all the parents don't end up spending their entire days there. But should I have said anything to the dad, or let my daughter tell the kids how it felt to be forgotten like that, or should I have just kept quiet and stoppd her from telling them?

 
Ballad

Asked by Ballad at 2:43 PM on May. 25, 2013 in General Parenting

Level 45 (193,996 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think you handled the situation just fine, and it was very rude of them to just "forget' about your daughter the way they did. The father could have at least called and said that he didn't have time and could you bring her yourself, instead of letting you both wait, that would have been the mature thing to do. I find it heard to believe that as the kids were playing in the pool one of them didn't suddenly say, "Hey (Your daughter's name) isn't here, what happened?"
    AnonNdrag

    Answer by AnonNdrag at 5:25 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • You both did FINE. And since the dad is usually a nice guy, I suspect he's now embarrassed about the whole thing. And may be upset with his kids for not telling him.

    But you have nothing to worry about.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:46 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I agree with gd. Your daughter had every right to tell them she was upset about not being included. I suspect the dad is embarrassed now and was just frustrated about the IRS situation and took it out on you.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 2:48 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • That would be why I say that plans aren't actually made until I have verified them with a parent. I never take the kids word on things!!
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 3:10 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I agree and if it still bothers you, have a sit down with him over coffee and talk it out. He might just need someone to listen to him blow off a bit of a steam too. Let him know you understand we all have bad days.
    405mom

    Answer by 405mom at 2:55 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I never believe what kids say especially at your daughters age. Always confirm.
    funlovinlady

    Answer by funlovinlady at 3:35 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I think you both were fine. Sounds like he is super stressed and just freaked out on you.
    It was not right for them to invite her, then not come get her...unless they said something about her meeting them there
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:12 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • When the child invited your DD. You should have went directly to the paernt who was bringing the kids. To see if this was what was really going on. I am like funlovinlady, I don't believe kids.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 3:43 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I always confirm with the adult, not the child.

    JeremysMom

    Answer by JeremysMom at 5:59 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • Yeah I agree with the other ladies, children are fleeting, they were probably so caught up and excited about going that they just went, the Father may not even have known his kids had invited your daughter, since you are all in the same complex, when I realized were a little late I probably would have just walked my daughter over to the pool to meet them rather than have her wait for an hour.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 12:31 AM on May. 26, 2013

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN