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Would you be annoyed? I feel like I'm married to Al Bundy!

My husband jokes around about buying me mops,vacuums, etc. As Christmas, anniversary,etc gifts. It's not true. He buys romantic gifts like jewelry and perfume. I've told him these stupid comments bother me, but he did it again today. We were at a party. My friend's teenage daughter said she feels bad my husband is so unromantic. I told her he was kidding, but I'm annoyed.

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:14 PM on May. 25, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Maybe he feels embarrassed about appearing too sensitive to others? Some men don't want their gentler side to sho.

    Answer by Ballad at 11:18 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • No, I would not be annoyed by that. I get annoyed when my husband jokes about me being helpless, but not about buying me gifts. My husband buys me romantic gifts, but honestly I would prefer a steam mop to the jewelry he buys me, because I never wear jewelry. One of the best gifts I ever got was the Dyson, which I got for Christmas.

    Answer by AF4life at 11:19 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • Seriously, if this is the worst thing he does is life really that bad?? Play along... then people will know he's joking...

    Answer by Crafty26 at 11:20 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • I'm with AF4Life. I don't want "romantic" gifts. I have more jewelry than I'll EVER wear.

    Answer by gdiamante at 11:46 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • This is such a tiny thing and you compare him o Al Bundy?

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:49 PM on May. 25, 2013

  • You know you're allowed to make jokes, too.
    Tell your friends he's getting his stocking stuffed with Viagra this year.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:05 AM on May. 26, 2013

  • LAMO^^^^^

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 1:32 AM on May. 26, 2013

  • Well I guess it depends on how he says it, if he is just being silly no i wouldnt be upset, I would come back with something smart that I would get for him, however if he was saying it with an attitude, trying to be a bit chauvinistic in front of others, even if jokingly, that would be different.


    Answer by Princess_s21 at 3:26 AM on May. 26, 2013

  • Sounds like you dislike (feel insecure about) the impression that it creates in others. You don't want someone else taking him seriously & "feeling bad" for you. You care about what people might be thinking/assuming.

    My thought is that what's real/true ultimately is what's important.

    My feelings in response to what happens tell me what I am valuing or prioritizing. If I got upset about this kind of joking, it would suggest that in actuality I care more (at least slightly) about what others think than I do about what is really happening. This is not some kind of flaw or fault--it's just reality. (Again, what's real or actually true is what's important!!)

    "Ideally," I want my reactions to match up to my values. i.e., I want to care more about what's actual than what others think of it. But if it's true that I feel some insecurity, or derive some sense of worth from others "thinking well" of my situation, that's what matters.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:48 AM on May. 27, 2013

  • In this situation, since it's something you've talked about with your husband, your feelings in response to his joking (and to how others respond to it, such as taking it seriously) may suggest that you feel disregarded because he persists.
    That's valid too!
    I think responding in a way that is constructive rather than destructive to your relationship is a matter of seeing the feelings as SIGNALS. The feelings driving your efforts to make him stop likely tell you about how much you prioritize the impression you & your husband create, and they tell you about what matters to you in terms of your self-worth/well-being. Your discomfort with his kidding highlights that.
    Your feelings in response to him STILL doing it after you've talked to him likely reflect internal "conclusions" about your worth based on how responsive he is/isn't.
    Considering his reasons for persisting in spite of your wishes can help give an accurate picture.

    Answer by girlwithC at 6:57 AM on May. 27, 2013

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