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I'm crazy.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. The first year was rough! About 6-7 months in the relationship, I had to find out on google that my boyfriend was still married. He says he didn't tell me because he didn't consider it real, they just quickly went to the court, and he didn't want to scare me away.

I called his ex-wife (apart for about 3 years now) to find out the truth. She claims that he tried to get back with her all the time while we were together, and that he was "obsessed" with her. My boyfriend of course denied this. She talked a lot about what hes done to her past, pointless to me, but I guess. And when she referred to the past, she would use 'love' in present tense. She would say "I think he got like that because he loves me so much". I don't know if she was just being jealous and spiteful or what. What I do know is there some truth in her part, and his. I just don't know what. She claims their not together because she left him, to be with a guy she got pregnant with, basically hes with me because he cant have her.

Enough with the ranting.
What I do know is he doesn't talk to her now, and things have gotten so much better between us. He tells me he will never talk to her again because theres no point, and hes in love with me and only me. But why do I think about her conversation a lot? Like it will randomly play in my head, and I will all of a sudden feel as if he tried getting with her while with me because i wasnt good enough. I trust him now, but everything she told me about a year ago, I still think about it, it still hurts. Just replaying the part when she said ' he loves her so much' makes me mad.

Have you ladies ever felt like this?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:52 PM on May. 26, 2013 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • She planted a seed in your brain. You are watering it every time you think about it. Don't let her have that kind of power over you. When the thought comes up again just laugh and think about something else. She wants you to think he loves her. He wouldn't be with you if he loved someone else. Now go enjoy time with the man who loves YOU (that would be your bf).
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:44 AM on May. 27, 2013

  • Not exactly because I have never talked with any of my BF's ex GF.(nor my husband's ex gf). The part that worries me for you is that he lied about a very big thing(marriage).

    That is probably what is driving your feelings now, you feel as if you are not sure you can trust him because of that big betrayal. Which is understandable. My suggestion is to seek couples counseling.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 5:58 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • Did he divorce her?
    As soon as you found out he was not divorced, you should have droped him.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:09 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • No, because I wouldn't have stuck around.

    My ex's have had ex's of course but, not that they were currently involved with.
    3libras

    Answer by 3libras at 6:17 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • It would be really hard to trust someone who kept such an important piece of information from you. I'm glad things are better for you, but this might continue to haunt you if you don't get some counseling to help both of you deal with it and put it in the past.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:39 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • Seems to me there's something making you not trust him, so you're replaying that conversation as additional justification.

    I would not be with him. His reasoning for not telling you before was weak, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:24 AM on May. 27, 2013

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