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Child with attention issues.

First off, I'm not a mom, I'm a dad and a father figure to an amazing 5 year old girl :)

Second off the little girl, has issues focusing. But I have noticed that when I let her mind wander she does amazingly well. she just turned 5 two months ago and can count to 40 when unfocused, but gets stuck on 13, 14, 15, and 16 when focused. when not focused I am constantly amazed at what she knows, she can tell time (to a degree of course). And her grammar is getting better by the week. When she is focused she "trips" over her words, but then can precisely describe her feelings when drifting.

She has shown an almost intense degree of aptitude for robotics. Since, I as well love robotics it has become our "thing". When she is learning something new she is focused beyond what I thought she or any 5 year could be, but when she recalls the information she has learned, she drifts, and amazes her mother and I. Until of course we try to get her to focus, then it's like were asking her to solve Goldbach's conjecture. We get a variation of "I just don't know". Which is confusing because she can (again when not focused) recall basic robotic code syntax. Not any "real" coding syntax, robomind syntax. And she actually trouble shot a robot I built for her, in a very logical way, with out any explanation from myself or her mother. And to be honest her assertation of the issue was shockingly close to the issue we were having.

Her mother and I believe she may have ADHD, or asperger's since her father (not myself) has several family members with asperger's. Now I as well have it, so I am able to work with her.

I am worried that if we continue to force her to focus we may be doing more harm in the long run, by damaging such a beautiful mind. Since right now she is able to "learn at a first grade level" (her doctor's words), she is right at or ahead of where other K-1/2 students are.

My brother and I were both gifted children, and his kids are are the same. The 3 of them spend a lot of time together all working on Homework. His children are in 1st and kindergarten, both have read all the classic books from Don Quixote to the Scarlet Letter. So her main peer influences are both amazing children as well.

So my question is in this instance is it really that important to get her to focus v. cultivating a beautiful mind?


Asked by USNavyWife0330 at 9:06 PM on May. 26, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,696 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • You probably need to either erase that part or at least inform people that your husband wrote this and you are posting it in his words.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:18 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • First off why is your user name "USNavyWife0330" if you are a man?? And 2nd men aren't allowed on CM...

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:14 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • If she is performing well at school, don't force the focus if that is your gut instinct. Time will tell where she'll stand as far as a diagnosis goes. From that point, you can consider different learning strategies or therapies. No worries!

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:30 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • First, by admitting that you are a man, you account will probably be closed in a few minutes. Second, I would at least talk to her doctor about it. She will be entering Kindergarten soon and she will need to be in a focused environment. Her doctor and her soon to be teacher can help with suggestions on focusing at appropriate times. My son is ADHD and I agree that his abilities are amazing. I would look into different techniques that parents can use for ADHD child to help them focus yet still cultivate their mind and unique abilities.


    Answer by JeremysMom at 9:14 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • This is a post written by the "father figure" that I copied here. This post is about my daughter. Written by him has no baring on the subject matter.

    Comment by USNavyWife0330 (original poster) at 9:17 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • Get an eval from a kiddie shrink and delete the dad comment
    The name of the sute is "mom"

    Answer by feralxat at 9:25 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • Really? I had a serious concern about my child and you are all focusing on an insignificant part of the post. That is overly, and blatantly sexist. Men have just as many questions about the children they love, as do women. You're all focused on your "he-woman mans haters club" you have failed to see that a man you are trying so hard to keep out of your "girls only club" you over looked what really matters on this site, women helping the development of our children. I want an answer, at least an opinion, not sexist posts of how my account will be blocked.

    Comment by USNavyWife0330 (original poster) at 9:28 PM on May. 26, 2013

  • Thank you, Jean that is the reassurance of our original plan I needed.

    Comment by USNavyWife0330 (original poster) at 9:31 PM on May. 26, 2013

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