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How long would you wait to get married?

We have been living together 2 years and I want to get married but every time I mention it he changes the subject. I straight up asked him to marry me about a month ago and he said let me think about it. I feel like I am wasting my time, that he isn't interested in marriage.

 
KallaLilli

Asked by KallaLilli at 5:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • We waited 2 and half years :)
    Its not really how long I would wait.. its if the guy showed me no interest in getting married I would take the hint. Not saying there is anything wrong with you but him. If he doesn't want to even talk about it.. its time to run the other way. I know thats not what you want to hear but its the truth. Id give him one more chance to discuss it.. then I'd be packing my stuff and tell him look I'm leaving if yo don't want to make that commitment.
    krazyash023

    Answer by krazyash023 at 5:45 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • We got married exactly 1 year after we met.

    you should really talk to him. if he changes subject again, then tell him that you obviously wasting your time.

    before you mentioned it the first time, did he ever say anything about marriage to you?! has he been married before?! there must be a reason why he is "against" a marriage. is he maybe to young to take this big step yet?!
    m.robertson811

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:39 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • We got engaged 3 months after datiting June 30, 2000 and we were going to get married that next Summer, but as it got closer we couldn't aford it yet. So we ended up getting married October 12, 2003. So 3 years later.
    mommy5409

    Answer by mommy5409 at 5:44 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • It sounds as though if you want to be married that it won't be to him. If you haven't yet, you should prepare for a life without him. when you are on your own, then you may meet a man who does want to get married.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 5:45 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Everyone moves at their own speed when it comes to marriage. I've known happy couples that have dated a few months to 12 years before getting married. It's hard to set a time line.

    Pressuring him and giving him guilt trips is not going to make it happen - at least not in the way you would want it to happen. This may be a good starting point to compare what kind of future the both of you want.
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 5:47 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • We got married 3 months after we met and it has been 3 years now. You have to make sure he wants to get married. I wouldn't waste my time if he is undecided. Talk about it with him
    PunkinLPN

    Answer by PunkinLPN at 6:07 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Here is my question- why would you live with someone that your not going to marry? Now ask him that question. Then have some discussion.
    Perhaps he is getting a ring and want to propose? I don't know.
    mmmegan38

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 9:12 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • 6 weeks from the day we met.
    heatkab

    Answer by heatkab at 10:21 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I knew him since I was about 12 and we got married when I was 25. But I was happy. I would have stayed with him even if we never got married. If marriage is your only goal then he is wasting his time, not you. Your goal should be to be in a happy loving relationship.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 10:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Ask yourself : DO I REALLY WANT TO MARRY HIM?

    Something is not clicking here. You need to be really honest with yourself about what. Is this the right guy for you? Does he love you the way you want/need to be loved? Are you too young? Do you love him and honestly want to be his wife?

    Don't get married bc of how long you have been together or bc you think you should. Marry someone bc they are your best friend and enrich your life in a way that you want to be with them forever.

    I have noticed that if someone is coming up with a lot of excuses....then they just don't want to get married. Common ones are: money, haven't been together long enough (when it has been several years).... People get married every day in spite of these things...so if you find that you or your boyfriend are making these excuses....then it may be time to move on.
    Niki_sd

    Answer by Niki_sd at 2:02 AM on Feb. 18, 2009

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