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How long should I ground her for this?

My 17 yr old daughter who normally doesn't give me any trouble (she's a bit lazy, but I don't have many behavior problems with her) just told me that her and a few of her friends skipped school on Friday. And they were at MY house playing video games and surfing the internet.
And when I got the skip call, she said it was a mistake and that she was going to clear it up at school.
She just confessed to skipping class.

I told her I am very disappointed and she is grounded for at least a week. I want to make this punishment harsh. I'm glad she told me but on the other hand, I want her to realize that something like this will NOT be tolerated.

 
tempsingl3mom

Asked by tempsingl3mom at 9:31 PM on May. 27, 2013 in Teens (13-17)

Level 26 (27,595 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • A week is enough... and don't write her a note and let the school also give out a punishment. Be happy she told you and that is the worst of what she was doing. If you punish her too harsh she will think twice before telling you things again.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 9:54 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • A week seems fair to me. While I don't condone her behavior in any way, I guess I do have to say that in the grand scheme of things, it could have been a whole lot worse. I did exactly the same thing as she did at her age--and actually along time before seventeen--and the only reason I told my mom the truth about it was to throw it in her face that she couldn't make me do anything. (In my defense, she was very abusive so there was no point in towing the line for her because I was going to be in trouble anyway, so I was free to do anything I chose.) She lied to you, but she did confess, and she and her friends hung out safely at your house instead of going out making trouble. For that reason, I wouldn't completely throw the book at her, otherwise you'll have nowhere to go if she slips up even worse next time. Make it clear you're disappointed and you won't stand for a stunt like this, but don't use up all your ammo on it.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 9:57 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • I honestly think she should have 3 separate punishments. One for skipping school, one for having friends over when you weren't home, and one for lying.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:48 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • I think what you are doing sounds good. It would be even more angry that she lied to me as well as skipped and I'm assuming she isn't allowed to have friends over when she is home alone especially without you knowing(forgetting that she was also skipping and not supposed to be home lol).

    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 9:40 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • I think a week - maybe 2 of being grounded and kitchen duty sounds good.

    Kids make mistakes. At least she was honest -and told you about it- that is a good thing. Just let her know that you are dissapointed and don't want it happening again.
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:52 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • My kids would be grounded (no phone, no friends over, no going anywhere, no computer except for school work, no tv) for at LEAST 2 weeks. To me a week is just a slap on the wrist.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:38 PM on May. 27, 2013

  • Sometimes grounding doesn't matter, if she can hang out in her room and do as she pleases there (I'd be reading all week long; not a punishment at all). Make sure it counts. No phone, no TV, no hanging out in her room, kitchen duty and whatever other kind of chores you can come up with for the week that she does after homework (if she still has any this late in the school year).
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:07 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • I agree with the punishment. I'd be more upset about her lying about it and let her know that's why she's being punished.
    GarysWife1991

    Answer by GarysWife1991 at 5:21 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • What is your definition of grounding? I know when I was a kid, my parents grounded me and I didn't care because I had a stereo and TV in my room, so I'd watch TV and read until my time was up. I'd take everything away - phone, computer, TV, stereo. If she needs the computer for school, I'd give it to her to do work when I can supervise her and take it back when she's done. I'd make sure the friends were completely off limits for that week, too. Granted, you can't keep them apart at school, but I'd be damn sure that they had no contact outside of school.

    Yes, a lot of kids skip school, but a lot of kids also do drugs or have sex - it's kind of like that whole, "if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?" She needs to be punished for what she's done, because you don't want her to do it. It doesn't matter if others do it, you don't want her doing it, and she needs to understand that.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 7:53 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • I think the punishment you gave fits the crime. Hopefully she won't do it again. This is a rough time of year & the kids are ready for the school year to be over & summer to begin! (I bet the teachers are too! :p)

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:06 PM on May. 29, 2013

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