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What is the best way to deal with a miscarriage?

I recently had a miscarriage and I have so many questions and don't even know where to start or even know where to look to get the answers to my questions

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Ashly128

Asked by Ashly128 at 4:36 AM on May. 28, 2013 in Trying to Conceive

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • I do not think that there is one best way. I think each person has to deal with it in their own way. When I had mine 11 years ago the easiest thing fr me was to not talk about it. I talked about it to my doctor the day we found out and that was that. The doc told me that I was young and sometimes when young people get pregnant their body sees it as a foreign object that does not belong and attacks it, I did not want to talk to other people about it after we told people I lost the baby. Now I can talk about it. If you want to chat feel free to PM me some time. I know this hurts a lot. And it really does get easier, but I can tell you honestly that you never forget. There are still days it hurts for me.
    MooNFaeRie30

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 6:04 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • Talk with your doctor. I am sorry for your loss.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 6:40 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • If you have a good friend who is a good listener and you need to talk spend some time with her. But if she has not been through a miscarriage she may not be able to truly understand. Know that a lot of people will simply push this all aside and say you are young, you should be past it, etc. No one can tell you how to grieve for this pregnancy....each of us is different. You can do a lot of research on the internet about it.......I don't know your exact questions......stick to reliable sites like Webmd, nih, mayoclinic, etc. And talk to your doctor again. Message me if you'd like. I have been in your shoes and I'm a good listener. Sorry you are going through this. hug
    silverthreads

    Answer by silverthreads at 8:01 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • I had several miscarriages. My friends who hadn't had them didn't understand, so I did a lot of crying alone at home, then pretended it didn't happen when I was with friends. It was easier once I'd had a healthy baby. Eventually I had 3 healthy sons.

    The best thing a friend ever said to me was "Your babies will all be waiting for you in heaven". That thought is on my mind whenever I think of them through the years.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:14 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • It's ok to grieve for your loss. I had 3 miscarriages before I had my first successful pregnancy. It was very painful emotionally to go through. Talking to your doctor is going to be helpful. In my case, with the first miscarriage we didn't look for a reason because sometimes it just happens. The 2nd one we looked for reasons and it ended up being because my progesterone levels weren't high enough. The 3rd I was on progesterone, but it still wasn't a high enough dose. We finally got it right and I was able to carry my daughter and then my son a few years later. I look at them and know that what I went through was completely worth it, but I still wonder about what could have been.

    My dr. compared a pregnancy to a seed growing. Sometimes it just takes off and sometimes it doesn't take at all, when you plant that seed you just never know what's going to happen.

    Hugs to you, I've been there.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 9:15 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • hugs

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:49 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • You grieve for the loss, but you try not to get stuck in your grieving. You also believe with all your heart that the next pregnancy will be different and you allow yourself to hope and look forward to one day holding that child in your arms.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:21 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • What do you want to know
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:47 AM on May. 28, 2013

  • I'm sorry for your loss. I've had four miscarriages and one healthy baby. The healthy baby has made the miscarriages worth enduring, but nothing except time will really make them less painful emotionally. If you have had three miscarriages in a row, your doctor may recommend progesterone supplements during your nextpregnancy. Good luck.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 12:29 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I'm very sorry :( I had a miscarriage at three months a couple years ago, I was devastated. The baby wasnt planned, nor was it wanted by the father, but in those three months I became very attached and very very ready to be a mother. All you can really do is appreciate those in your life and keep trying (if you want to and when it's safe). Much love and luck your way!
    rescuetheclouds

    Answer by rescuetheclouds at 12:51 AM on Jun. 16, 2013

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