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2 Bumps

Can't get along

My ex only likes me when I am giving him his own way. He thinks the world should revolve around him. He picks our son up 2 hours late and never brings him back on time. He shuts off his phone so I cannot get in touch with him when he is late. I told him he needs to learn to be on time and he called me white trash. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:07 PM on May. 28, 2013 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (12)
  • Get custody modified. Have it say in the CO if he is so much time late he forfeits his time. If he is late bringing him back make sure there are consequences in the CO.

    Answer by kmath at 12:08 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Document, document, document. And, make all communication be electronic (via text or email) so you have proof of it if you go to court.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:09 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • kmath- what kind of consequences can I put in a co?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:09 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Well if he can't bring him back on time then he gets supervised visitation so you know the kid is where they are supposed to be. I agree with Libras, document everything. Jot down what time he is supposed to be there, what time he actually gets there, what time he should be back, what time he is actually back, any phone calls he didn't answer and so forth!

    Answer by kmath at 12:11 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Start keeping notes about all of this. Note what time he picks your son up, when he brings him back, note each time you try to call and can't get through (as well as the reasons you call, and those times when you do get through) but don't call too much because that can make you look bad and give him the excuse of "Well, I had to turn my phone off or my entire time with my son would have been spent on the phone with her!" Make notes of every time he insults you, calls your names, yells, threatens, etc. Then, when you have enough, go back to court and try to get an order that stipulates that all communication must be in writing (such as texts or email) and try to get it to also say that if he doesn't show up within X hours of the scheduled time, then his visit is canceled.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:12 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • If picking him up and returning him late is not interrupting what you have to do than I would let him have his time with his son.

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 12:14 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • You get an attorney.

    Answer by m-avi at 12:15 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • What does your custody agreement say?
    Document everything

    Answer by Dardenella at 12:16 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • custody agreement?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:32 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • If my ex was late dropping off he was in contempt of the custody order. He almost went to jail. This was in the days before cell phones. There's no reason why he couldn't contact you if he was a few minutes late in traffic or something. 2 hours is inexcusable.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 12:46 PM on May. 28, 2013

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