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3 Bumps

Should my boyfriend move in w me n my teenage daughters?

I'm divorced. We have been dating for years but he went through a bad divorce n isn't sure he wants to get married again. He wanted me to move in w him but I have a good job here. Now he's losing his house in foreclosure. His hours were cut at work. I suggested he move in with his parents until he is in a better place financially. He said he doesn't want to be a 40 something loser living with his parents! I own my home and have a good job. He asked to move in w us. He asked the girls first n they think its a great idea. What do u think?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:59 PM on May. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (43)
  • imho sounds like he wants to mooch off of you, but then again, i'm not very trusting
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 8:01 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • That's totally up to you.
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 8:02 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I would not do it. and he should have only discussed it with you, and left it up to you to tell them of any upcoming changes.

    Nothing wrong with moving back home at any age. That's what family is for...to catch us when we fall.
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:02 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • If you go down that road, have a contract written out and signed and make clear what your expectations of him will be.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 8:03 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I agree with Virginiamama he should not have discussed it with your daughters.

    It's really up to you, I personally wouldn't do it simply because he said he never wants to get married again.

    But it really is up to you, you said you have known him for years.. but there is always risk when you have children at home, especially teenage girls.
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 8:04 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I would say no. What is the difference between being a loser living with one's parents and being a loser living with a working woman? A loser is a loser, and he will have less incentive to work if he can get a free ride living with you. Furthermore, if you have hope of one day being married to him, I think letting him in your home would be a mistake.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:04 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • don't do it!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:08 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Your boyfriend was out of line to discuss the idea with your daughters before he talked to you. It's up t you, but as someone who initially had a boyfriend move in for reasons of convenience, I would suggest that you work out exactly who is going to pay for what, and decide how long before you review your financial arrangements again. Also, keep the house in your name in case things go bad. Let him pay for other bills, by all means, but not the mortgage.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 8:09 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I feel bad for him n enjoy his company. My ex husband was abusive to all of us, and my girls really like my bf.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:09 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Like others have said you need to have clear boundaries and definition of who does what and who pays for what.

    Dating and LIving together is very different especially with children. Just because you feel bad for him doesn't mean it would be best for him to move in.


    And the fact that he doesn't hit you shouldn't really be a point in his favor...while it is great and all you have to realize that majority of guys do not hit women but can still be losers in other ways(not that he is).
    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 8:13 PM on May. 28, 2013

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