Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How would you feel if your friend married your ex?

It doesn't matter how long ago you dated.  Say you dated in high school and you had an ugly break up that you confided in your friend about and then years later she marries him.  How would you feel about it?  There aren't any raw feelings about the break up, it's just I find it a bit tackey that my friend would do that and than act jealous when me and my ex talk to one another.  I just don't see how she can be jealous when she married my ex.  Her FRIEND'S ex.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:14 PM on May. 28, 2013 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • It would really depend. Two of my exes - I'd wonder what the hell drugs my friend was taking and how I could get some. lol Others, I wouldn't really care. One or two I might be a bit hurt, but if they were both happy, I'd find a way to deal with it.
    wendythewriter

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:17 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I would feel sorry for her LOL beyond that who cares. Why would you care if your friend married your ex?? I don't see the big deal.

    I get that it is a bit hypocritical for her to then get jealous when you talk with her ex, but that is another matter because my feeilngs about that would be about the double standard no matter what it was and not about the exs.

    tntmom1027

    Answer by tntmom1027 at 8:17 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Actually length of time would matter to me. If it was a boyfriend in HS or even college I wouldn't care. If it were more recent it might bug me. Also depends on the strength of our friendship. If we were good friends then she would know everything I had to put up with and would know what she was getting going into it. That might bother me as well. Someone who is more of a casual friend wouldn't bother me as much.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 8:18 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • High school or college boyfriend? No big deal. Ex husband? Big deal.
    Mrs_Prissy

    Answer by Mrs_Prissy at 8:21 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I guess for me it would depend. How close exactly am I with my friend? Is it just someone I shared what I was going through with or was it someone I've been super close with for a long time? Did I break up with him because he abused or took advantage of me? Was it just a bunch of childish drama that just got really messy, or did I break up with him over something that was serious? Did my friend and her ex break up over something serious or something silly? Was my relationship with my ex one of the defining relationships of my past? Was my friends', with her ex, defining for hers?

    If it was a silly stupid typical high school relationship, I wouldn't really care. If it was something bigger and more significant I might have more of a problem with it, especially if the friend was a really close one who knew all of the details.
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 8:23 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I'd ask her if she was a bit crazy, given everything I went through. The jealousy thing would irritate me just because I would expect my friend to know me well enough that she'd understand I wouldn't interfere with her relationship.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 8:25 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • Oh, lol, sorry, I misread the last part - if you and your ex are still close then she should have thought about that before getting together with him, and she can't complain about the situation, IMO
    bandgeek521

    Answer by bandgeek521 at 8:26 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I just don't think she should have any room to get jealous when I talk to him. It's not like we call eachother or message each other on facebook. We just talk when we're all hanging out and she is obviously disturbed by it.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:39 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • You must have too little going on in life to be focusing on petty things like this - either that or you are not taking care of your own life and trying to distract yourself by grabbing onto drama.

    When did you date him and for how long ? It does matter what the circumstances were....

    So what if she feels a bit insecure when you talk to him. It can be normal for many women who are not confident. Take it as a compliment and realize it DOESN'T have to be a problem.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 8:52 PM on May. 28, 2013

  • I would worry about her future happiness and mental health. And if she's already acting all jealous then you know her life isn't so great. Just ignore the jealousy and remember back to what you went thru with him....
    Nimue930

    Answer by Nimue930 at 9:15 PM on May. 28, 2013

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN