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Starting over

For those who have had a child and that relationship didn't work out but want more, how far apart do you think you should have the 2nd child if their going to have different fathers 2,3,4 years? The relationship is already established we've been together a yr, known each other for 3 and we both want kids together, I'm just afraid of what others will say, No it shouldn't matter but it does, random people no, but I come from a big family with strong opinions.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Feb. 17, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • my kids are 3yrs apart than 13mths. i think 3 yrs apart is perfict, they can grow up together and you got one outta dipers
    angels4262

    Answer by angels4262 at 6:16 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I have a daughter who is 16 months and me and her dad broke up but now I'm in my current relationship and due again in March. She is still so young that she thinks the man I'm with now is daddy because she doesn't see her real dad. Yes I did get a lot of bashing for having 2 kids so close with different dads but I didn't see the harm in it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:21 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • Thanks. Best answer so far, I still have my days where I think about not having kids anymore, but I had hopes and dreams that I don't want to throw away, just b/c it didn't work out for us.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:23 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • yeah i wouldn't stop your life and forget about any dreams you have about being a mom and having a family just because one relationship didn't work out
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • I just had this perception of my life and how it would be I felt as if I did everything right, I waited 1yr 6mon to have sex with him, we were engaged within 6mon of being serious, we were to marry in Dec.05, but b/c of financial issues I put it off, at that time I couldn't see myself getting married at a courthouse. I became pregnant in jan.06 but it didn't alarm me b/c we had already plan to marry a month before, only money issues pushed it back. It didn't work out he became abusive in our 4th yr and I decided I'd had enough. But b/c I was 19@the time when I got pregnant, I feel as if everyone expected me to fail, and now that were not together I feel as if I'm already looke down upon in my family, I feel as if having another baby will just give them more of a reason to look down on me. I hate being the one thats always the worst and everyone always has to have a conversation about.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • You are not the only one. I've known my BF for 5 years but we've only been together for about a year. I already have an 18 month old that isn't his either but we agreed when she's 3 that we'll have another.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:47 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

  • What scares me ultimatley is getting arried having another baby or 2 and then it doen't work out and then I'll be right back in the same situation. Or my son feeling like he's left out b/c he has a different dad, what about the new hubby's side of the family I want my son to be included too.Its just so much that goes along with starting over.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Feb. 17, 2009

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