Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

What do you think about someone telling you what to gift them or their child with?

I am not saying that you ask what would Johnny like or a bridal registry, but someone who consistently tells you Johnny wears size 4 jeans, that is what I want you to buy?
I want you to get me a XYZ appliance this year.

I have to go out for a while but I would be interested in you feelings on this and how you might respond.
Do people do this often, from your experience?


Asked by Dardenella at 12:41 PM on May. 29, 2013 in Holidays

Level 47 (265,492 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • I can see giving people reasonable limits such as we don't play with this kind of toy or no movies that are rated pg-13 or higher or no violent video games, etc... but to get real specific and say this is exactly what you should buy is a little strange. My family usually asks is there anything the kids need and that would be an appropriate time to say they need size 4 jeans or something but otherwise a gift is what someone wants to give not what you tell them to give other wise it just doesn't seem very... gifty?

    Answer by -Cassandra- at 12:56 AM on Jun. 5, 2013

  • I would rather buy stuff they will use rather then crap they won't. It's as simple as that.

    Answer by funlovinlady at 12:50 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • I will tell someone that if you are buying clothes for my kids please buy certain sizes. Our youngest is only 4 but wears a 6x. She's extremely tall. Nothing is worse then trying to tell her she can't wear a new outfit because you have to return it to get the right size. I have also said please don't buy such and such as we have already gotten it for them. They tell everyone the same thing that they want. Really don't want 5 of the same toy.

    Also if people ask me what I want or what the kids want/need I will tell them. It makes everyones life easier but I will give them a range of gifts. EX: shoes, shirt, matchbox cars, videos, etc. That way they can find something within their budget.

    I would never TELL anyone that they needed to buy me something.

    Answer by baconbits at 12:54 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • My aunt had a child on the spectrum, though back then it was just "picky" and "had problems" - no neat and tidy diagnosis for it. She told everyone what to get him for Christmas/birthday, in part because he had a ton of hand me down toys from an older sibling, and in part because some things he "couldn't handle". Looking back now knowing what we do, in reality, some toys overstimmed him and caused massive meltdowns that she couldn't explain, stop or control. (I still remember trying to teach him to play checkers when we were little, he had a violent rage over it)

    She didn't do that to "outsiders", though, only family who understood. If it was some neighbor coming to a birthday party, she just dealt with it however she had to after the fact.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 12:58 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • but when it comes to family it's a little different. my family usually asks me what they're into or what size they wear though. but my mom and i have had exchanges where i'll say "if you get me anything at all this year, id just like XYZ"

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:28 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • I have done it before - when my oldest was little, Barney was still kind of big, and I made it a point to tell people, "No Barney!" I couldn't stand that irritating purple dinosaur, and I did not want it in my house. I figured it was less offensive to tell people not to buy it than to throw it away after they'd given it to him and have them find out. Aside from that, however, I've never really made a big deal about telling people what to buy or not buy.

    I know some people who do it, and I tend to just ignore them. I'll listen if it's something like me with the "No Barney!" or if it's something about an allergy or something like that, but I don't pay attention when it's just "Buy this, and here's all the info you need to do it."

    Answer by wendythewriter at 12:44 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • I think it's a little presumptuous for someone to tell me what they want me to get them (of course, if I haven't already asked them to give me ideas). I think it's rude, but I was always taught to never solicit gifts. I have passed that lesson to my kids as well.


    Answer by QuinnMae at 12:50 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • I actually like telling people what to buy my kids for birthday or holiday and telling them the size. I only tell them when they ask what they can get for my DD or DS.

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 12:52 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • I think if it's a close family member then, especially as far as kids are concerned, then it's not a big deal. For example, I've told my dad things like "the girls need new summer clothes, the sizes are (insert size)". Now with my stuff, if asked I'll say, I could use a new (blank). But, I'd never say what make & model.

    Answer by 3libras at 12:57 PM on May. 29, 2013

  • If it's your Daughter or Son then they are saying it because that's what they NEED. Not something that you found that you think is nice. I agree exactly with funlovinlady. For Easter my Mom bought my Sn a huge premade basket filled with plastic outdoor toys. For that money she could have bought him a new lunch box or backpack instead. If she had asked me then it wouldn't have been a waste of money.

    Answer by ILovemyPaulie at 1:26 PM on May. 29, 2013