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Need more advice

I recently posted about splitting with my kids dad and him meeting someone new and wanting to take the kids camping with her there.

I have expressed to him that I feel his weekends(he is getting every other weekend right now that's what we worked out between us so far) should be spent with him and the kids and not her, atleast not right away, the kids are only 5 and 3 and still adjusting to daddy not being around. He says that hes not going to choose one or the other and he is going to keep things equal between his kids and the girlfriend.

First of all there is no visitation order set. I have spoke to him about the camping thing and he finally changed his tune about that, but now its a new issue.

He now is going to meet this girls parents who live out of town on Saturday and wants to take the kids there because its a farm and they have animals. I told him I haven't even met this girl(which he keeps suggesting for me to meet her) and I don't think the kids should be there since its his first time meeting her parents. They have only been dating 4 days now. He is now jumping on my case about not trusting him and so on.

so again....Would you send your kids on Saturday?
and how can I go about these situations because it seems to be something different he wants the kids to come to each time with her and I hate having to argue about all this

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on May. 30, 2013 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • Just tell him the same thing you told him last time. Their relationship is way too new for the kids to be around her yet, they are still dealing with mommy and daddy not being together anymore and he needs to spend time with THEM not with them and her. Tell him that no matter the scenario he comes up with your feelings are going to remain the same until they have been dating a lot longer than 4 days. I would get to work on the custody agreement and have something in there that deals with these kinds of situations.
    kmath

    Answer by kmath at 11:50 PM on May. 30, 2013

  • The fact is they are his kids and without a court order he legally can take them any time he wants and visit whom he wants with them in tow.
    I am not sure what you mean by out of town. I can be "out of town" in less than five minutes. But when we say it here it generally means over an hour away. So I guess that would make a difference to me.
    As long as you know where the children will be (contact info) I am not sure you can legally stop him.
    I can not say I would like it. I do think I would talk to him about meeting her parents first and then maybe taking the kids out to meet them.
    I am wondering if he really has just met her and has jut started seeing her. This seems a little fast.
    Dardenella

    Answer by Dardenella at 11:53 PM on May. 30, 2013

  • He wants the kids? He can file for custody. Pay a lawyer.
    PartyGalAnne

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 11:55 PM on May. 30, 2013

  • Unless "out of town" means really far away, maybe you could ask him to go scope out the farm and the parents first and then take the kids on a later weekend. He doesn't know if the woman's parents are kid friendly or not, or how interested they would be in strange kids descending on their farm and fawning over their animals. Ask him what he plans to tell the kids if this new relationship doesn't work out. But as Dardenella said, without a legal agreement, the best you may be able to do is state your feelings to your ex and then try your best to get his cooperation.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 11:58 PM on May. 30, 2013

  • Honestly, the court won't like him taking the kids to meet some new gal if this split is recent. My sister's ex did this and his gf moved in. It has been total HELL on the children. Worse, the new gf is not kind to my sister's boys. She's okay to her daughter but awful to her boys. It's been a gut wrenching process for our family and so sad for my sister to try to explain to her kids why Daddy has a new girlfriend sleeping in his bed. Ugh...Good luck
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:01 AM on May. 31, 2013

  • I think he's forgotten what dating is about ... He seems to want to treat her like a wife already. IMO, she'll not last. Who would want a guy who brings his kids on EVERY date?
    winterglow

    Answer by winterglow at 1:48 AM on May. 31, 2013

  • I would not send them
    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 9:27 AM on May. 31, 2013

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