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4 Bumps

We often talk about people who want to name their babies uniquely. Here is the list of SS bottom names and these had to be used at least by 5 different parents to make the list!

Some truly terrible names were also given to more than five children last year. Seven little girls were named Anally in 2012, for instance, and nine boys named Havoc.

But focusing just on the very bottom of the government list, here’s what not to name your baby, and why:


Assia – You just can’t give an American baby a name that contains the word “ass.”

Beautyful and Pretty – She better be.

Disney – Product placement?

Erie – Lake, yes. Ontario or Michigan, maybe. But Erie is just eerie.

Goodness – Most teenagers would take this as a dare.

Ikea – A Big Box name.

Money and Pryce – Uh…no.

Richard – Every year there are a handful of girls named Richard….and George and David, and boys named Charlotte and Sophia. Clerical mistakes? Sometimes, probably. And then other times, they’re just mistakes.

Rosary – Saints’ names and other religious names can work, but this takes baby-name-as-devotion too far.

Shady – Weather names – Sunny, Snow – can work, but then there’s the other meaning of Shady.

Stonie – Will create a rocky path for your child.

Vegas – What happens in Vegas…

Younique – Unfortunately not.


Abass – See Assia.

Carrion – Baby name roadkill.

Dolton – If Colton is a popular baby name, and Bolton and Knowlton can work as first names, then Dolton….nah.

Emperor – Why not Tyranius?

Hamlet – Shakespearean names as far out as Romeo can work, but Hamlet is also saddled with that “Ham” syllable.

Handsome – See Beautyful and Pretty.

Harshit – Harshit and Harshita are Sanskrit names with a lovely meaning: full of happiness. But they don’t translate well into English.

Kartier – Klassy.

Maximum – Max or Maxim would have made the point.

Messer – Takes the Badass Baby Name idea, ala Ranger and Wilder, too far.

Patch – Future pirate?

Princeten or Prinston – Maybe he’ll get into Yale.

Ralphy – Middle name: Boy.

Rambo – Scary, yet not as scary as the six boys named (yes, really) Rage.

Vader – Ready for a lifetime of Star Wars jokes?


Asked by Dardenella at 3:46 PM on May. 31, 2013 in Baby Names

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Those take "terrible awful no-good very bad" to a whole new level!

    Answer by Ballad at 4:58 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • PP, Atticus is an older name, made popular by To Kill a Mockingbird. It is uncommon, tho.

    Ralphy Boy made me laugh. The list is pretty awful.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 4:12 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • why is it that the girl names are always WAY worse than the boy names? ppl always seem to name girls more out there stuff than a girl doesnt need a reasonable name.

    Answer by okmanders at 5:10 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • going crazyAnd i thought the Emory and Atticus in my son's class were weird...


    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 3:53 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • ugh

    Answer by LostSoul88 at 4:18 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • wow


    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 4:40 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • Erie – a Celtic baby name meaning "From Ireland"

    But that's the only one I don't find strange

    Answer by Crafty26 at 5:25 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • There was a boy in my son's class last year named Homer. D'oh!

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 5:40 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • Some of the girls' names just scream stripper!!
    Might as well buy baby's first pair of lucite shoes!!

    And I pity any poor boy named Kartier.

    Answer by PartyGalAnne at 5:46 PM on May. 31, 2013

  • I met a boy named Ralphie last summer, through CM. The mom lives near me, and we hooked up so our kids could have a play date. While the name was hard for my daughter to pronounce and one I wouldn't have picked, I thought it must have been a family name or something since the name Ralph was at one time fairly common. As the above list shows us, the names get a whole lot worse!

    Answer by Ballad at 5:05 PM on May. 31, 2013