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2 Bumps

Just so sick of all the drama

I feel really bad for saying this, but someone who is supposed to be my best friend, is just making me feel really crappy lately. She is a wonderful person and a wonderful friend but lately her life has just been all about the drama. Kids, boyfriend, her ongoing feud with an ex bff.

I try to be supportive and helpful but she is the type that wants to complain but won't take any advice and while I feel bad for her, I don't. If that makes sense. Then, with this ex friend, its not good enough to leave well enough alone, she antagonizes the woman and then complains when she strikes back and I feel caught in the middle.

Another thing that has been upsetting me, I am trying to fill my life with positive vibes and with her it's either how she hates everyone and everyone's a bitch or it's all about kinky sex stuff. It's funny once in a while but I'm starting to feel like someone that ate way too much chocolate and is about to puke. I'm starting to question if she really is a good friend or if I am starting to go my separate way in my thinking.

Maybe my depression is rearing its ugly head again or maybe I really have had enough. I'm just conflicted because I don't want to end our friendship but I find myself wanting to distance myself a bit, maybe take a break. Any insight? Advice?

 
AnonNdrag

Asked by AnonNdrag at 9:39 PM on Jun. 1, 2013 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,783 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I say call a spade a spade.
    I would use sarcastic humor and tell her you bet her $100.00 that she can't go a day without being negative and complaigning. I would then reinforce that you feel so close to her that you consider her like a sister and need to tell her the way it is. She needs to mind her own business and fix her own life. She is doing it to make herself feel better- there is something in her own life she needs to deal with/change or whatever. It is simply a character defect and unfortunately she is not doing anything except analizing and complaigning about everyone else.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 10:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2013

  • Only you can decide if the friendship is worth keeping or not. How long have you been friends with her? How close are you? From the sounds of things, you should take the break, for your own peace of mind. Just screen your calls & be too busy for a while. Being around such emotionally draining people can take a lot out of you, so do what you need to do for yourself for a while.

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:46 PM on Jun. 1, 2013

  • What you say totally makes sense (feeling sorry for her, but then again not really feeling sorry for her). I have people like that in my life. I have come to realize that they are making a choice to be miserable about things and to not take control of the things they are capable of controlling.
    While I am still there as a shoulder to cry on, I don't really find myself offering advise anymore as to recapture her control of their reactions. They are who they are and have been since before knowing me. I try to be understanding but more times than not it just leaves me shaking my head hoping that some day they will figure things out.
    Honestly, I think learning the art of letting go is one of the hardest things to do.
    QuinnMae

    Answer by QuinnMae at 10:21 PM on Jun. 1, 2013

  • Go with your gut; it won't steer you wrong. Don't end the friendship yet if that doesn't feel right, but try to stay out of this woman's way for a little while. Don't answer the phone if you know she's calling. Peple can wear you out and make you feel like you're going to drown with them, especially when they won't take any advice you give them but won't shut up about whatever the problem is, either. You have to look out for yourself.
    Ballad

    Answer by Ballad at 10:23 PM on Jun. 1, 2013

  • I would make myself unavailable for a while and hope she will focus on solving her problems.
    morebee7

    Answer by morebee7 at 11:39 PM on Jun. 1, 2013

  • I think everyones had this type of friend.........the DRAINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It ends up sucking the life out of you in the end.......if you look at your friendship closely you will probably find that it is very one sided in many areas........honestly it depends on the friendship and how strong it is and how much it means to you, if you want to continue to be close you need to confront her about it.....work it out...........or make the decision that she is someone you would rather keep at a distance............if she is dragging your spirits down, its not a healthy friendship the way it is...you either both compromise to make it better or you move on.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 1:17 AM on Jun. 2, 2013

  • This does not sound like a friendship. You're convenient for her.

    One thing that can help with getting to know more positive people is by being YOURSELF and never ever giving the Court of Public Opinion any weight.

    I *know* there are people who laugh and/or talk about me behind my back. I don't GIVE a damn.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 7:34 PM on Jun. 2, 2013

  • OP- It sounds like you are a bit shy in social situations. Or is it just when it's people you don't know very well? If that's the case, I usually find 1 or 2 people to strike up a conversation with. Either way, it sounds like you need to hang out with some people whose company you enjoy. Have a BBQ & invite some different people over. :)

    mrsmom110

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 8:12 AM on Jun. 2, 2013

  • tell hw
    er




    tell her kp her drama to her self...




    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 8:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2013

  • Sometimes people can be friends for a moment in time, but situations and people change sometimes you have to let go the fond memories and move on. Good luck!
    Sillylins

    Answer by Sillylins at 10:33 AM on Jun. 3, 2013

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